Let's Talk About Books Baby!

April

Books Bought

Italian Joy by Carla Couldon

After the Shots by C. Fardoe 

Books Read

Allegiant by Veronica Roth (Nook)

Balancing in Heels by Kristin Cavalleri

Pretty Happy: Healthy Ways to Love Your Body by Kate Hudson

 For a year where I had my hopes high and a whole bunch of goals I feel like I'm just kind of dropping the ball in every area and drowning. The books I've been reading haven't been doing much to make me feel better about myself either.  Hopefully the second half of 2016 I will get back on track.  But for now, let's talk about April.

I finally finished the Divergent Series so that I can get ready to rent the last movie when it gets to redbox.   The third book was hard to read because all of a sudden the author decided to bring in Tobias and quite honestly she couldn't really pull it off.  I found myself flipping back to the beginning of the chapter to see whose perspective I was supposed to be reading because Tris and Four sounded like the same people.  Also, that ending. Yikes.  What is it with the youngsters and the tragic endings?

Very emo.

Kristin Cavalleri & Kate Hudson.... what can I say... my obsession with pop culture of the late 90's/early 00's continues.  At this point I would say someone should call in some help for me.  There's only so much life to live and I pass it reading books like this.... Lord...

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

March

Books Bought

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix By: JK Rowling (audible)
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince By: JK Rowling (audible)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows By: JK Rowling (audible)
Love, Loss and What We Ate: A Memoir By: Padma Lakshmi
Balancing In Heels By: Kristin Cavallari

Books Read

 Strong Looks Better Naked By: Khloe Kardashian

Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It By: Various (aka... ME!)

 Obviously my Harry Potter marathon continued this month.  Full immersion.  When I wasn't listening though I managed to eek out two new books that I've never read before and one just happens to house my first publication.  What?!?!  

But let's talk about Khloe's book real quick... there isn't anything in here that would be news to you if you've been keeping up with the Kardashians for the past decade like I have (shame).  However, I liked this book.  I thought it was an honest account of what motivates her, how she processed a very heart-breaking and drawn out time of her life.  I found it to be very inspirational.

Now... Eat Pray Love Made Me Do It I don't think I could actually sum up all the things that I thought but I can tell you this.  I enjoyed coming home and having an advanced copy from the publisher on my door step.  It felt very Carrie Bradshaw-y.  I can tell you that for every person I know and love that has went out and bought their own copy and sent me pics of it, or have told me how much they loved it... I turnaround and have to read it again thinking about it from their perspective.  How does Aunt Sue feel when she reads it? Uncle Reb? Old co-workers?  Professor?  My employer? 

What parts do I wish I had left out? What do I wish I had added?  Is it silly that I've thought about the fact that I mention The Sopranos  tv show.... would another tv show had painted a better picture?  

What would he think if it crosses his path?  Would I finally get an apology? Would I be sued for like defamation of character or something? Did I represent him fairly? Did I represent myself accurately?  Was I fair to both parties?  I'd like to think so, but I guess just like everything else I may never know for sure. 

One thing that I know for sure is I'm so honored to have had the chance to give my voice and my story a platform but now that I've done this with that particular chapter of my life, I'm glad to FINALLY close the chapter, the book.  It feels done now.  

You can all breathe a sigh of relief!  

I think for sure the next time (if I'm ever so lucky) that I try to get something published it would be pulling from the feelings and experiences that I have had but I see it being fiction.  That said, in all fairness... I submitted something to McSweeney's over a year ago that they have neither rejected or accepted and so if I am so lucky as for that piece to get published just know that I submitted it long before I ever told you that I am through telling this story.  :-)

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

February

Books Bought:

Tradition By: Daniel Khalastchi

Remains By: Jesus Castillo

Love & Misadventure By: Lang Leav

Pansy By: Andrea Gibson

Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets By: JK Rowling (audible)

May Cause Miracles By: Gabrielle Bernstein (audible)

Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban By: JK Rowling (audible)

Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire By: JK Rowling (audible)

A Storm of Swords By: George R.R. Martin (audible)

Strong Looks Better Naked By: Khloe Kardashian

Pretty Happy: Healthy ways to Love your Body By: Kate Hudson

Cravings By: Chrissy Teigan

Miracles Now By: Gabrielle Bernstein

Sharp Objects By: Gillian Flynn

Books Read:

Tradition By: Daniel Khalastchi

Love & Misadventure By: Lang Leav

I'm behind! And having a hard time getting focused this year!   One thing that hasn't changed is true to my nature once I received my tax refund the door was wide open for me to throw down some serious cash on books. The addiction is real folks.  

Obviously you can tell by my books bought and previous posts I have been revisiting the magical world of Hogwarts!  God, I miss Harry Potter!  As I'm listening to these books, I just keep thinking, "Please God, strike me with something this brilliant, something that changes the way people feel about books, something that moves a whole generation."  I am flying through these books, of course I've given up all NPR & Dear Sugar podcasts at this point, spending every moment of my commute with Harry, Ron & Hermione.  Needless to say, old wounds (spoiler alert--- as if you haven't read Harry Potter!?!?!?) have opened fresh and I spent one morning ride in tears as Lily and then James Potter came out of Harry and Voldemort's connecting wands only for them to save their son once more and tell them how much they love him, I have set in my cubicle with goosebumps as Bellatrix LeStrange sent Sirius Black through that magical curtain.  I'm currently going back in time through the pensieve in Dumbledore's office and learning all about the dark and mysterious past of Tom Riddle.  

It's magic.  Pure gold.  It's delicious.  I love it.

 Ok... so new books... the only new (first time reads) that I read in February were both poetry books.  I know, I know... audio books & poetry books... I told you, I'm off my game at the moment!

Anyways, I really don't have much to say about either of these books (probably cause I've waited too long to write about them).

I guess my only thoughts at the moment are these:  I used to think life is too short to revisit books you've loved when there are so many books out there still yet to read.  But lately, I'm rethinking this... life is too short to not revisit the books you loved.

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

January

Books Bought

 Carry On, Warrior By: Glennon Melton (audible)

My Life on the Road By: Gloria Steinem (audible)

The Firestarter Sessions By: Danielle LaPorte (audible)

Books Read

Carry On, Warrior By: Glennon Melton (audible)

My Life on the Road By: Gloria Steinem (audible) 

Well I feel like this is a bad sign... My first month ever where the only books I bought and read were all audible! *gasp*

All I have to say for myself is: I've got stuff going on folks!  Weekends filled with Broncos playoff games, volunteering for the upcoming Democratic Caucus on Super Tuesday in Colorado, hitting the gym a few times, finding my zen in yoga as much as I can, meet ups with my groovy goals coach (coffee & mountains), and just surviving the rush of a new semester at CU.  Life is busy... I gotta get my reading in on the go these days.  I don't foresee this becoming a trend, it's just how I'm surviving the moment.  

My online book club that I joined a few months back, Novel Grapes, chose Carry On, Warrior for our most recent read.  I should have read the fine print but since I was just downloading an audio version I didn't notice the tiny print on the cover that said from the author of momastery.com.  Oy.  For those of you who know me, you will know what a double edged sword this is.  I once longed to be a "mommy" and it turns out my body is not cut out for that.  It took some time, and growing up to realize that maybe God, the universe, or fate knew better than I did that I was not made for such things as, baby talk, dirty diapers, and putting someone else above all else in your life.

That makes me sound selfish... But this is not about me.

Had I seen the fine print before I started downloading and listening to this book, I would have sat this round out.

Nothing about this book is relatable to me.  I'm not big into addicts, people on fire for God in kind of an intimidating and maniacal way, and people who only seem to be able to talk about their kids.

Next up... Gloria Steinem!  Could these two women be any more different?  No, I think not.  I loved Gloria's story so much that if she weren't still alive I would think that maybe I was her in a different life.  It resonated.  It is the story I want to tell, a person who owned her body, who made her choices, who fought for and alongside the underrepresented.  This woman stood on the forefront of some of the most important historical moments in our country's history.  Her writing is rich, her cause is mighty, she is everything I would be if I could just be brave enough to do it.  

And it wasn't until I sat down to write this post and thought back on both of these books that I actually realized how much these two women have in common.  Abortions were had, both believe in equality, and they both have constructed the lifestyle that is right for them.  I mean after all, isn't feminism having the freedom to be a policy activist if you choose or a mom who builds a home if that's your fancy.  The bottom line is while Glennon might be a little too syrupy sweet for me--- she is out there... She is daring greatly (like Brene), she puts her stories out there for others to learn from and to judge.  But here's the thing... While I was quick to write her off as "just" a stay at home mom with her "mommy" blog.... I learned that she is on the forefront of change, in a different way than Gloria Steinem.  While Gloria is out fighting for other people's kids to be recognized and loved as humans- just as they are.  Glennon is starting the lesson in the home.  When she writes a letter to her son that if he should be gay then he should know that he is loved fiercely.  

Taking a stance that to some in the Christian community would judge and think is wrong, is very brave.  If more Christians would interpret Jesus the way Glennon and her family do--- it would start a revolution.  So maybe, Glennon is more bomb that I initially gave her credit for. 

Lesson to ourselves: Don't judge a book by it's tiny print.  

Portland Part 2

Playing some major catch up today, in February... But what else are snow days for?!  Let's just take it on back to October.  Think Portland.  

That's right, I found myself traveling and giving into that beautiful feeling that we call wanderlust.

I was staying in the city, right on Portland State University's campus in the thick of it all!  The PSU Park blocks, off of Park Avenue, just blocks from Powell's book store and the famous food carts, and just steps from the Portland Farmer's Market.

That's right, my friends have the hook up.

I was in town to visit a former co-worker, one of my favorite students to ever come out of CU Boulder!  And definitely one of my favorite friends to gossip with!  Josh and his partner Michael have the best apartment.  Looking over the park blocks and a block away from what might be my favorite quintessential cafe ever.  Their apartment reflects them, the people who they are--- travelers, scholars, life lovers--- these fellas have fresh flowers in their home at all times.  That wasn't the only tiny little detail that I fell in love with.  I loved the way they had these beautiful glass bottles in their fridge filled with cool water, I loved the way they opened all the windows-- sunny day or fog.  I loved the way when they made pasta they took it up a notch with fresh pine nuts.  I loved how they celebrated everything.  I mean everything.  

Here are some of my most favorite moments:

My first day that I woke up in Portland I was left to my own devices... The boys had to work.  I set out on the town and decided to take in some sights.  I walked all over that city.  I went to Stumptown, I went to Powell's, I went to a history museum, I met some former study abroad alumni for hot chocolate.  By the time I got the text to head back to the apartment because the boys would be home shortly, I was exhausted.  I came in the door, greeted by their warm faces--- ready to celebrate the weekend.

I told my darling ones there was no way I could walk anywhere to dinner (I was developing blisters on my feet at this point).  No problem.  We hopped in the car, drove across one of the many beautiful bridges and found another cozy nook of Portland.  We grabbed a drink at one spot, decided to head out to find another place to eat--- we found one we liked put our name on the list and entertained ourselves as we waited.  We saw a person sitting on the sidewalk with a typewriter.  We asked what they were doing--- and found out.  Give one word and they would write a poem for you based on that word.  Typewriter- no editing.  Tyler Knott Gregson style.  We gave the word, "intrigue", I wish I could find the poem but I'm not sure what book of mine it's ended up folded up inside of.  Some day I'll come across it and I will smile warmly remembering this night.

At last, it was our turn to be sat, if we were ok with the table outside on the sidewalk.  We were.  It was a crisp Autumn night, but the boys were in their flannels, and I always enjoy the coolness.  We ordered wine to keep us warm and I ordered crab linguine.  We talked religion and spirituality.  Leaves fell from trees as we laughed and clinked our glasses in cheers.  I remember feeling that this is the way life should always feel... And I got the distinct feeling that for these two more often than not it always feels this way.  Rich.  Warm.

We headed home, I took a hot shower, the chill Autumn air finally getting to me, I rinsed off a day full of sweat and city.  My feet felt raw.  I got into the comfiest of pj's and went out to the living room only to be met with a foot massage as we laughed over the funniest videos that YouTube has to offer.

Sweet Dreams.

The next morning I kid you not I was welcomed to the day with a greeting of "Good Morning" and one of my dear ones holding a mimosa.  We listened to Mariah Carey songs as we drank our morning cocktails and prepared to head out the front door to the farmers market.  (Seriously, right out their front door)!  We made our way around buying little things here and there--- breakfast burritos, sunflowers, artichokes for later.  Musicians played Edith Piaf's "La Vie en Rose" and it felt like a scene right out of a Woody Allen movie or something.  Again, the feeling... Why doesn't everyday life feel like this?

We dropped our goods off at the apartment and grabbed some essentials--- today we were heading to the coast.  Cannon Beach here we come!  Or as my sister would say if she was heading there, "Hey, you guys!!!!!"  First, we made a pit stop up to Washington State for some edibles.  Did I mention I was on vacation?  It'd been years since I had smoked so I thought maybe edibles would be more my speed these days.  

We drove through torrential rain.... And some of the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen.  We got to the beach... And I was feeling good.  We had sang at the top of our lungs... And though it was dreary and foggy (weather that suits me) we were at the ocean!  How different this part of the coast felt compared to California where I had been the previous month.  We took off our shoes and we walked to Haystack Rock.  We spun, we laughed, they talked about my teal scarf blowing in the wind and how elegant it looked.  Being around these boys made me feel like they see me differently than I see myself.  I had a feeling the way they approached life transcended into everything.  They could only see the very best of me.  

We had enough of the cold and headed to a local coffee shop called Sea Level Bakery.  A tiny snack and a yummy latte and we were back on the road. 

I felt sick.  Too much drinking, too many edibles had all caught up with me... I puked in my cup and all over the side of the road.  Even after witnessing this horrifically embarrassing moment the boys still told me on skype the other night how they were just talking about this the other day--- how gracefully I threw up in the cup.  God love 'em!  

Some major hydrating, some realizations that I'm almost 35 and need to treat my body more kindly, one Broncos win in one of the best Broncos bars this nation has to offer outside of Denver, and many episodes of  "Dance Moms" later I found myself back at PDX.

So long Portland, it's only a matter of time before I see you again.  You and your hosts are much too sweet to stay away from for long!

Rabbit Rabbit

You guys, one of my favorite fitness friends/blogger/goal digger tribe members is the incomparable Jacki Carr.  This month she's trying something new and challenging all of us to do the same, so here goes: 

The two things I’m most proud of from January are:
1.  Finally, not having the expectation that everything in my life was going to be different just because it was a New Year, therefore I didn't have the guilt that usually abounds when I don't make it to the gym or I drink a diet coke, etc.  Instead I looked at things like it's a process, and it's ongoing, it doesn't have a magic start date or end date... it is now, and now... and now.  See how this goes?
2.  I had a goal to go hiking 3 times in January, I didn't make this goal.  But I did do one hike, and I'm proud of that.  There were a few things that happened on this hike that I'm particularly proud of-- First, starting up the incline I started to get mad at myself that I'm that out of shape or that I could let myself get to this point.  But then my friend, my teacher, who was with me said, "It's good to be aware."  Thinking of that has been very good for me.  Sometimes it's easier to keep taking the elevator because I don't have to focus on how out of breathe I'd be if I took the stairs.  But awareness is always the first step to change, right?  It's like obviously, I have some goals, I know I need to change, but until I can really feel it--- then it's ok.  I can keep lying to myself or keep hiding the real raw broken down truth.  Secondly on this hike we came across a patch of ice and somehow I made it out into the middle of this patch before I started sliding around.  So there I was out in the middle and even though it was nothing but a few steps either way to get off of the center of the ice, I found myself sliding, catching my balance and I kept hearing my hiking partner say to me, "slowly, baby steps."  And then she bravely reached out her hand, I say bravely because I totally could have taken her down with me.  I felt like so many lessons were happening right in this little one minute of flailing around: 1)  When you are flailing about trying so hard not to fall--- slow down.  Breathe. Take baby steps.  2)  When you are flailing about trying so hard not to fall--- reach for help.  You don't have to flail about alone.

The two things I’m most grateful for from January are:
1.  My new yoga mat.
2.  Getting to see President Bill Clinton speak at a private event.

The lesson I learned and am carrying forward with me from January is:
You can talk the talk but to get where you wanna go you gotta walk the walk.

My intention for February is: 
More focus.  Instead of spreading myself all over looking for motivation I really just want to zone in on the 1-2 things that are really going to elevate me.

One thing I aim to do every day in February is: 
Write.

Because I am brave, here are two new/scary things I will do in February: 
1.  Today I already faced one of my biggest fears that I didn't even see coming.  The publishing company that is publishing my essay in a book, emailed me and asked me what publicity I would be willing to do.  Things ranging from radio interviews, news interviews, and book signings at my local bookstores.  This terrifies me.  I am so afraid of public speaking.  I want to be perfect before I have to stand in front of people (crazy, right)!?!  I don't want to talk about my most emotional story out loud!  Then why did I write it? And if I want to be a writer... these are things that I envision myself doing!  But it was always... someday... in the far off future.  Intangible.  And now it's happening before I'm ready for it.  But this is good practice.  I signed up for all forms of publicity.  I'm going all in.  We'll see what happens. 
2.  I feel like #1 was a big one... so maybe I get a pass on doing another scary thing?!  I've thought long and hard and I can't think of a second thing that would scare me that I would actually be willing to go through with.

The one book I definitely want to read in February is: 
Emma by Jane Austen.  A couple Valentine's Days ago I read that if you are single you should immerse yourself in Jane Austen to celebrate V-day instead of being that person that goes and sees a violent slasher film.  Since I have always loved Valentine's Day this article didn't have to twist my arm!  Hence was born my new ritual (until I run out of Jane Austen books to read anyways).

Just for fun, I will…
Make it a point to get up to Estes Park one weekend when the weather is nice.

As an act of intentional kindness, I will… 
Try harder to be pleasant to everyone even on the days when I don't even feel like getting out of bed.  :-)

Happy February Loves!

A Year in Review (2015)

2015- The Best Of!

Oh geez... the years just keep flying by!  Goodness!  Here are some of my favorites from 2015.  

Top 3 New Favorite Albums (in no particular order):

1. Brandi Carlile- The Firewatcher's Daughter

2. Sugar & The Hi Lows- High Roller

3. Erykah Badu- But You Caint Use My Phone

BONUS:

Andra Day- Cheers to the Fall

Top 3 New Favorite Fiction Books (in no particular order):

1. The Bullet by Mary Louise Kelly

2. The Diver's Tomb Lies Empty by Vendela Vida

3. Purity by Jonathan Franzen

Top 3 New Favorite Non-Fiction Books (in no particular order):

1. Missoula by Jon Krakauer

2. Rising Strong by Brene Brown

3. Wildflower by Drew Barrymore

BONUS:

Tyler Knott Gregson (um, hello, obviously)

Top 3 favorite books read this year (but published outside of 2015):

1. All the Lights We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

2. Euphoria by Lily King

3. Pole Dancing to Gospel Hymns by Andrea Gibson