Let's Talk About Books Baby!

October

Books Bought

The Untethered Soul By: Michael A. Singer (Audible)
All The Words Are Yours: Haiku on Love By: Tyler Knott Gregson
The Girl on the Train By: Paula Hawkins
Wildflower By: Drew Barrymore

Books Read
 Purity By: Jonathan Franzen
 All The Words Are Yours: Haiku on Love By: Tyler Knott Gregson

October was a good book month for me, in more ways than one.  Not only did I read some quality stuff, but I also got to visit the most infamous and largest independent book store in the country, and I also got to go to an author event at Tattered Cover for The Girl on the Train which was fascinating and inspirational (as these events always are). 

First, the historic Powell's. This store truly is a book nerd's world wonder!  I'm not the biggest fan of used books, but it is kind of cool to be able to see things firsthand that have been elusive for years...  like McSweeney's Vol 1.  Also, who can complain about a book store that has multiple levels and rooms?  I wish I had timed my trip better because Elizabeth Gilbert was doing an appearance there just days before my arrival, and Tyler Knott Gregson was shortly after my departure.  It would have been nice to see how they put on an event compared to my home state's Tattered Cover (which rocks events).

Which leads me to Paula Hawkins.  This was a funny author event because multiple people have talked about how the main character reminded them of me, and yet, the main character is a mess! It was fun to hear the process of how she came up with this character.  She knew she wanted to have a character that drinks so much that they black out and so she worked backwards from there and was like... "What would be the saddest thing?" And then she thought how it would be pretty sad if you had been married and your husband left you because of fertility issues.  There you have it folks.  Straight out of a NY Times Bestselling Author's mouth... that scenario is just about the saddest thing.  Except for a whole other slew of atrocities that happen to the human race... like genocide, human trafficking, rape, fleeing your country and being a refugee due to the horror of war, etc.  Anyways, always fun to hear an author's process and how people received it.  Also, Tattered Cover did something I've never seen them do before they had another author (local, Eleanor Brown) interview Paula.  I thought that was interesting.

Ok... on to books!

Books bought... I keep wavering with audible.  I feel ethically I should not be buying audible versions of books from Amazon... but I like having them as options when NPR doesn't have news on, I'm caught up on podcasts, and not in the mood for music.  Am I the devil?  Maybe.  Anyways, I bought The Untethered Soul in this version so I could listen on my night drives home from yoga or while I'm at the gym.  I also joined local yogini and life coach Jacki Carr's online book club, and this was the pick after Brene Brown's newest.

I bought and finished reading Tyler Knott Gregson's latest collection of poems.  I think he has matured a lot.... they are less cliche, less desperate and more sexy.  Here's a sample...

Back against the wall

and your legs around my waist,
I kiss you again.

Early morning moans

and your longest stretching groans

I can't wait to wake.

Let's tangle them up,

twist together all our limbs.

Braid ourselves to sleep.

Legs around my waist

As I hold you in my lap

My hands on your back.

I find you in storms,

I feel you in the lightening,

I miss you in rain.

See what I mean?  Sexy.  It probably helps that this is a guy writing in the mountains of Montana on a vintage typewriter.  Dreamy.

Ok... if you are a fan of the 90's it's pretty much mandatory that you love Drew Barrymore, so of course I had to pick up her new autobiography.

Now... let's once again discuss Jonathan Franzen.

Purity took me almost a month to read.  But not because it wasn't good. As with everything I've read by Jonathan Franzen, his story lines & his characters draw you in, and yet you know that it is a book that when you sit down to read it, you want to have time. You want to be sucked in to that world.  This one was so unlike his other two I've read in the sense that I didn't feel like he was doing some big analysis of the current political events and life in the suburbs... it felt a lot less like an assigned book for school (which I love) and more just him trying a new style.  I still liked it.  As with most his books all of the characters are not unlikable, but you still find one or two to root for.

Anyways, that's all I got through this month. I don't think I'm going to make my book goal for this year (52).  I'm currently sitting at 38, that's ok.  Quality over Quantity, baby!

Los Angeles

California Love

It's been awhile since I went anywhere aside from Utah, so this trip was just what I needed.  I've already been to LA a few times, but never as an adult.  Other than hanging with my friend Bianca who I was staying with I really didn't have much on my agenda.  One thing I am finally learning and accepting about myself as I get older is I'm just not that into crowds.  

The morning started early, but I wasn't dreading the whole airport/flight experience because I was armed with the latest Jonathan Franzen novel.  I do love the way just being at the airport reminds you how there is an adventure about to be had.  Sometimes, I think I've been so scared of traveling because it reminds me of another time of my life, also the last place I ever saw my husband was in an airport... so maybe there's some underlining thing with that.  But I made note of that observation and then just remembered that not everything in my life has to come back to that.  This is a new trip, and I'm a totally different person.

Everyone always talks about the laid back west coast vibe and after my brief little trip I can't tell if people are spot on about this or completely off base.  I sat in an Avis car rental place waiting for my friend to show up for almost 2 hours, and when she got there and we hugged, I could feel an energy running through her... it felt frazzled.  She immediately starts apologizing for the LA traffic, but it was fine... I was on vacation, and I had my book! This definitely was a theme that ran through the whole weekend.  Waiting to find a spot at the parking lot to the grocery store, waiting to get a table in the breakfast diner, waiting in traffic on the way home from the beach.  With all of the waiting that people in LA have to do, I can't tell if they are the most zen people because they haven't went off the deep end with how much time of their lives is just wasted waiting or if really they are all angry on the inside because the traffic always sucks, etc.  I personally was amazed by this lifestyle. It really didn't stress me out and I don't know if that's because I've been doing yoga, or if it's because I take anti-anxiety medication, or if it was simply because this wasn't permanent for me.... it was a vacation.

Onto the reasons why people can put up with all this waiting, because on the flip side of the equation... there are beaches.  And sunsets.

    

We had a great day where we drove along the Pacific Coast Highway out to a surf n' turf restaurant called Neptune's Net.  This place was insane, so many people waiting to grab a spot!  It was well worth the wait though.  And after that we drove to a beach that wasn't secluded, but kind of felt like it was.  And maybe that's why people pay so much to live in California... because you can stand at the foot of the ocean with one of your best friends and feel like you have all the space in the world.  

I strongly believe that as cliche as it sounds, the ocean is the best therapy.  All you have to do is sit in the traffic to get there, pay the steep price to park there (thanks B!), find the perfect spot and then breathe it all in.    What is it about the ocean that gets us going?  Is it just because I'm a water sign?  Is it because we are made of water?  Why is it that we can visit a place we've been maybe a handful of times if ever and feel so at home in ourselves, in the world, in our place?  With each tide that rushes in and out over my feet I felt reborn.  Reinvigorated. Cleansed. Pure.  Why?  

I know many of us get these feelings in the mountains too.

Anyways, with any good beach and after a late lunch you are contractually obligated to sit and watch the sunset.

Then after the sun sets past the horizon line, we all scurry to our cars and sit on the I-10 for hours to drive the short distance home.  But unlike the drive to the beach, now we have been restored.  And we sing.

I loved staying with my friend.  Again, I'm stating the obvious when I say that you learn a whole other side of your friends when you stay with them and are together day in and day out. 

I loved the way when we'd leave the beach after sunset Bianca would talk about the fog rolling in and the way it messes with the windshield.  I loved that her playlists are still filled to the brim with songs from when we were younger.  I love that when she steps out of her apartment complex I can picture the restaurants within walking distance, the little courtyard where we sat and theorized and speculated about Game of Thrones.  I love that she watches a reality TV show about the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.  I love that her baristas know her high maintenance drink order and greet her with warm welcomes each morning.  I love that when work is stressing her out she turns to God.

For my last night there we went to the Santa Monica Pier and watched the sunset.  A moment came when there was such a big wave that I noticed people oohing and ahhing like my mom does for big fireworks. Then I noticed how many people around me were all speaking different languages, and as corny as it is I loved how we might all come from different places but at the end of the day we all love a good sunset.  Sitting on the pier that night I felt so connected... The couples kissing, the girl with the goosebumps pulling her shawl over her shoulders, my friend hosting me and showing me her beautiful life... these are the things that I will always remember about my trip to California.

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

September

Books Bought:

Purity By: JonathanFranzen

Rising Strong By: Brene Brown (audible)

Fates & Furies By: Lauren Groff

It's Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired & Get Going! By: Chelsea Clinton

Big Magic By: Elizabeth Gilbert (audible)

Books Read:

Killing Monica By: Candace Bushnell

Rising Strong By: Brene Brown (audible)

Big Magic By: Elizabeth Gilbert (audible)

This month, my Candace Bushnell trashy novel aside was all about inspiration!  But first, let's take out the trash before we get to the good stuff.  

Lordy, I need to stop reading Candace Bushnell.  I always look at her books the same way I do Emily Giffin, it's like taking a trip to the beach or the candy store.  Indulgent.  But, this book is like a new low, I honestly was embarrassed that I read it and found myself taking off the jacket only to put it back on because the book was a bright pink!  Everything about it screamed, "I'm a bimbo and I don't have a brain!"

Ugh. Gross.

Now... Brene and Ms. Gilbert!  Good, good stuff.  I liked listening to the audible versions of both of these books.  They were both read by the author and unabridged so I don't feel like I missed anything.  Also, it just felt like listening to a warm, gooey podcast for days on end.  Every trip in my car was delightful!  I felt like I was doing something good for myself just by tuning in.  Anyways, do it!  There is nothing better than going to yoga and the gym after work and then taking a peaceful ride home listening to these wonderful ladies!  Definitely a highlight of my September! 

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

August

Books Bought:

The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris By: David McCullough

Books Read:

The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris By: David McCullough

The Corrections By: Jonathan Franzen

This was a relatively slow reading month for me and kind of boring.  I would suggest everyone pass on The Greater Journey. Snore fest.

As for Franzen, The Corrections was good and I really did get into a lengthy question about whether the talking turd diminishes Franzen's value and importance or whether or not it adds to it.  If anyone has read this book I would be intrigued to hear your thoughts about the talking turd.

Franzen is quite the guy, he gets under people's skin.  I love the feud he has going with Jennifer Weiner which a friend told me about.  Basically, Franzen is saying... "yo, women writers, instead of crying out how no one treats you with respect, why don't you write something worth respecting?"  Just because you sell books to grown women, doesn't mean they warrant any respect, especially when the books are filled to the brim with juvenile emotions and actions.  

I agree, I rarely have women authors that I read over and over and hold in the same esteem as their male counterparts.  For instance Emily Giffin and Phillippa Gregory are like candy, you read it because it's quick and easy.... but I would never put them in the same camp as Dave Eggers, John Irving, Richard Russo, etc.

However, my list of esteemed females is finally growing... Elizabeth Gilbert, Cheryl Strayed, Zadie Smith, Donna Tartt.  But the majority of females being mass produced and marketed are writing trash lit.  

Someday I hope that I fall into the list of women writing quality works.

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

July

Books Bought:

A Paris Affair By: Tatiana De Rosnay

Go Set A Watchman By: Harper Lee 

Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town By: Jon Krakauer

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim By: David Sedaris

Books Read:

Euphoria By: Lily King

A Paris Affair By: Tatiana De Rosnay

The Upstairs Wife: An Intimate History of Pakistan By: Rafia Zakaria
 Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town By: Jon Krakauer
 Go Set A Watchman By: Harper Lee
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim By: David Sedaris

 What a month for books!  First, let's just talk about how happy it makes me that Barnes & Noble had it's biggest release day for adult fiction in the store's history thanks to Harper Lee's newly released Go Set a Watchman.  But, let's also talk about how sad it is that no one knows for sure... did she even want the book to come out now?  Was she bullied? Did she even write it?  Who knows?  But everyone has an opinion on it!  AND, don't even get me started on the whole Atticus situation.  Is he a racist? Does this change the way that we think of America's most beloved character?  Is it a co-incidence that this book comes out at the very time that racial tensions are reaching a new level in the US?  I don't know.  But, for what it's worth, the book was ok.  I kind of put some of the "news" surrounding the book out of my mind and just read it with an open mind.  I liked that it was a grown up version of Scout, and that she challenged the normal societal conventions of the time--- marriage, staying in your small home town, etc  I also liked that the book heavily explored the idea of you can never go home again, and that as we get older, we are able to see our parents flaws... but we still love them anyway, maybe even moreso.

In other book news... Tatiana De Rosnay had another book translated into English, of course I had to go pick it up from the bookstore.  It is a short story collection about affairs in Paris, it's a bit cliche, but it's a super quick read so at the very least if you are not in love with this book, you can be done with it in an hour or so.  

And, the one other piece of fiction I read this month... Euphoria. Such. A. Good. Book.  Seriously!

I had noticed this book made like every list of "Best Books of 2014", but for some reason I just kept avoiding it.  But for some reason, maybe it was the heat or something, a book about a love triangle between three anthropologists in New Guinea was just calling my name.  It met all my expectations.  I love books that are exotic and sexy but are not trashy romance novels.  I felt like I learned a lot too, I always knew anthropology was important and interesting, but I see it in a whole new light and feel kind of sad that I wasn't born in another time and as a more adventurous person.  Maybe in another life... who knows?

Ok... Non-fiction.

The Upstairs Wife-- kind of a letdown, but I liked the premise... tying a girls history of her own family to the history of a Nation (Pakistan) and a Politician (Benazir Bhutto).  

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim... Only my second David Sedaris book, and I have to say it was so fun to only now be finding out he's gay!  How nice it was to just know of a person for so long without having to know his sexuality.  Obviously it doesn't change my opinion whatsoever... but it was just funny to be listening along and then realizing that there is this person who I've heard about how brilliant he is and how hilarious and that people never had to talk about or mention that he was gay.  Anyways... the book was alright, it was funny, but it didn't make me shed tears of laughter like Holidays on Ice did.

And now... Jon Krakauer.  Can I just say I have been missing out!  This guy is amazing!  This was my first book I've read by him, (even though a different one has been sitting on my shelf at home for years now...).  While the content of this book is heavy and depressing, the way the story is told is like listening to an episode of the podcast Serial.  Soooo entertaining... yet educational and informative. It felt like I could sit back and point a finger at this other small college town, and at the end Krakauer revealed that the University of Colorado Boulder is on a list of schools being investigated federally for not investigating sexual violence complaints.  Sad.  Disappointing.  Why is no one talking about this?!?!

Anyways, that's all I've got for now.  What have you guys been reading?

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

June

Books Bought:

 A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier By: Ishmael Beah (audible)

The Shadow of the Crescent Moon By: Fatima Bhutto

Interpreter of Maladies By: Jhumpa Lahiri

The Diver's Clothes Lie Empty By: Vendela Vida

The Upstairs Wife: An Intimate History of Pakistan By: Rafia Zakaria (audible)

Killing Monica By: Candace Bushnell

Books Read:

 Little Princes: One Man's Promise to Bring Home the Lost Children of Nepal By: Connor Grennan (audible)
A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier By: Ishmael Beah (audible)

The Shadow of the Crescent Moon By: Fatima Bhutto

Flappers and Philosophers: The Collected Short Stories By: F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Diver's Clothes Lie Empty By: Vendela Vida

Since July is more than halfway over, I should probably get to wrapping June's post up.  And, let me just say that's EXACTLY what I finally did with F Scott Fitzgerald's mammoth short story collection: Flappers and Philosophers.  It may have taken half of a year, but it feels good to have this one checked off my list.  I love the way Fitzgerald writes but spending 6 months in the Jazz Age was a little overwhelming. 

Speaking of overwhelming... so was the rest of the reading (or listening, if you will) that I took on this month!  Heavy topics... we're talking boy soldiers, and human trafficking.  The world is a scary place, and I know some people don't like to be brought down by learning about these things; but I thoroughly love being educated when it comes to global human rights campaigns and issues, that's why these two books have been on my radar for a while, and like they say there's no time like the present...

First up, Little Princes, this book was so sweet.  It's literally kind of an ideal dream for someone who works in study abroad.  Here's a guy, traveling out of country & volunteering and the people he meets and the place he goes so affects him that he finds his mission in life, and he sets out with a goal to change something that needs changing.  When I listen to stories like this, I am so inspired--- but I always wonder how do these fortunate people who've found their calling maintain their focus?  How does one decide that THIS, and only THIS is going to be the one cause I champion.  I always feel like I have OCD about human rights, I know a little about most topics, but maybe it's the experience of going somewhere and having it strike a chord deep within that is so resounding that you have no choice but to act.  Anyways, I loved this book, and I love Connor.  If you want to learn more about his organization, you can do so by clicking here.

Second was a book that I have wanted to read for so long now.  The author Ishmael Beah is also very active in International Education and has been known to make appearances at NAFSA conferences.  His story of being a boy soldier, is so honest and heartbreaking.  His story is one of also learning to not let the past define you or be your compass for your future.  You can learn more about Ishmael on his website by clicking here.  Also, if you are ever having a day where you are pulling the "woe is me" card.   Buy the audio version of his book and start listening; when you imagine that your whole village could disappear in one afternoon, and that you will lose your whole family, and live a life on the run... you will choose to look at your life and it's many blessings with so much gratitude.

Next, I turned to fiction, but it was still a heavy topic.  I had been waiting for this book to come out in English for awhile, so when I saw it at Barnes & Noble I instantly had to buy it.  Fatima Bhutto, niece of Benazir, had made a beautiful entry into the world of fiction.  She takes a family of 3 brothers living in Pakistan on the border of Afghanistan and heading out into the world to celebrate Eid, a Muslim holiday.  The three brothers have to pray in different mosques, knowing that it is too dangerous in the violent political climate for all 3 brothers to pray in the same place.  This book gives the history of each brother, which helps you to understand how each one of these people seem to be so different from each other.  Sometimes I feel such a compassion for the people of the Middle East, their countries have been through so much.  I hope and believe that there is a way for there someday to be a peaceful Middle East without losing it's culture.  Sometimes, it can seem like we (as in the "US") is so wrapped up in the goings on over there, and sometimes I think people are so quick to wrap all of it's people up into one box that is easy for us to understand.  I think there is a beautiful, rich history there and there are people that want to preserve their culture, and I believe they are just as tired of the radicalism that threatens their lives as we are.  Anyways, this is just another beautiful book, but it kind of leaves you hanging, and maybe that's the point.  The story in the Middle East is still unfolding...  it's up to all of us to help write an ending.

After all this heaviness, I had to take a step back and what better way to do that then to read the new one out by the lovely Mrs. Eggers (I'm talking the one and only Vendela Vida).  Her new book still took me to faraway lands (Morocco), but it was lighter than the previous books of the month.  What happens when you are looking to travel and find yourself but you lose your identity and are afraid of conspiracy theories?  This book was quick and entertaining.  Loved it!

What have you been reading lately?

What if I were just me?

Driving down the mountain with the air conditioning blasting and smiling to myself thinking, "Sayonara Suckers!", I was happy I was leaving Aspen-Snowmass in time to watch the sunset.  For some reason a quote from Cheryl Strayed kept running through my thoughts, "What if I forgave myself?"

I had thought this weekend was going to be so many things, it started out amazingly enough, and I was sure it was just going to keep getting better.  I was finally taking somewhat of a vacation: a long weekend to one of Colorado's most famous mountain towns for a yoga festival, Wanderlust.  I had a vision of cooler days, life changing beautiful moments, and fresh mountain air.  And considering I was paying the equivalent of one month's rent for my hotel room, I imagined it was going to be fit for a queen.  When we build things up so much in our minds it's easy to be let down, so you know how this goes, nothing was as I had imagined it to be; from the know it all girl that I was paired up with, to the temperature, to the hotel room, to the plain and simple fact that looking around nothing looked like the pictures and accounts that I'd been following and liking for nearly a year now.  It was all gross. I couldn't imagine spending 3 more days doing the same thing and paying so much to do it!  I had to get out of there as soon as I could, so I checked out of the hotel, hauled my stuff back up the mountain to my car and loaded it up.  I grabbed a cool Diet Coke from the cooler, and was hitting the road once more!

Now back to the quote, of all the things I could be thinking at this freeing moment, why did I keep thinking "What if I forgave myself?"  In the moment, I couldn't decide, and a day later I haven't really pinned it all down, but here's what I think:  I'm exhausted trying to be something I'm not.  I'm tired of thinking about who I'm supposed to be, who others think I should be, always trying to become something else, and constantly analyzing the parts of my personality that I just can't shake off.  What if I just forgave myself for not being the best? For not living up to everything that I want to be?  What if I just let go of who I'm supposed to be and just learned to really love me?  As I am.

Now to be clear... this doesn't mean that I'm giving up on trying to lose weight or that I want to stop growing as a person.  But what if instead of comparing myself to others I just stopped?  What if I stopped trying to put myself in boxes?  Now when I say I have been comparing myself to others, I mean I have REALLY been comparing myself; and it's creating undue pressure.  I compare their temperaments to mine, I compare their career paths, I compare their passport stamps.  And, quite frankly it's making me miserable.  It's making me sign up to go places I can't afford to go, just to say I did something.  Now when I say I've been putting myself into boxes, I mean I have REALLY been putting myself into boxes.  I think if I practice yoga, I should suddenly be the most peaceful person and that I should automatically be a pro at eliminating waste and eating clean; and when my personality traits or lifestyle aren't meshing up with what I think I'm supposed to be then I get stressed.

What if I were just me? What if I'm a girl who does yoga but it doesn't define me? What if I wear mala beads and listen to a Christian podcast?  What if I like reading books more than I enjoy meeting new people?  What if what I really want is just to have a nicer apartment with a bigger kitchen rather than travel to hot and sweaty places?

Driving down the mountain could be one of two things: it could be me running away from the person I'm supposed to be becoming OR it could be me accepting who I am and what I'm not.  And the joy that I felt driving down the mountain makes me feel like it's a little more of the latter option.  I'm not a hippy that stands around talking about how maybe our paths cross in some other multiverse.  I'm not a person who likes to be hot and sweaty.  I'm not a person who likes to "rough it".  I'm not a person who likes to be forced to make conversation with strangers.

I do like being with myself.  I do like the mountains, especially the rivers.  I love books.  I love getting coffee first thing in the morning.  I like a good stretch, but I'm not looking to make my whole life yoga.  And I'm definitely not the kind of girl that takes off and misses out on my mama's birthday party.

I think for awhile I'm going to spend sometime just being me and shut out some of the outside influences for a little bit.  We'll see what happens; but if it feels like driving down a mountain and standing by a rushing river as the sunsets... I'm ok with that.