On the hunt...

Lately I have been on the hunt.  For a man?  God no!  For a goodread? No, I'm overwhelmed as it is!  I have been on the hunt for a blog address!  Yep, that's right.  Bored of the kd-onceuponatime, and trying to shake a stalker my blog was on the move!  I visited findingmygriffe for a moment, and then I even sat with just my name: karstee.blogspot.com; when today it happened... in the most natural and meant to be way.  I was reading Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger when the character Franny is talking about praying and she says: "I mean that's the whole point of it, more or less. I mean you do it to purify your outlook and get an absolutely new conception of what everything's about."  This blew my mind.

Let me back up...

The past month I have fallen into a funk.  Something rather huge happened last month: my grandma passed away.  Now that she has left this life to join my grandpa in the afterlife; my dad and my aunt and uncle are tasked with sorting through their parents life and donating and selling items including the house we all grew up in.  Losing both of my grandparents, and oddly enough-- their house, has put me in the most somber of moods. I just can't seem to shake it.

On a much more insignificant level I made the mistake of logging into Facebook and therefore re-activating my account.  When am I ever going to learn?

I also am facing haunted memories of significant dates, drama with the aforementioned stalker, disappointment in my own behavior in how I've handled said stalker (who really for all intensive purposes is not a stalker--- she just started to feel like one after a week of being inundated with unwanted emails), work is busy and I feel dissatisfied with what I do (why does the dissatisfaction always have to creep in?), and winter seems like it might never give way to spring... all of this coupled with an apprehension over the place that I live and the choices that I've made to get me here has left me exhausted, anxious and extremely unhappy.

Where did the contentment go???

So, back to the present moment... purify your outlook.  That's it!  My God!  I need to purify my outlook!  Instantly I knew this has to be my focus.  These are my words!  Purified outlook.  It is my mission statement.  And lo and behold it isn't being used by any other person on this planet as a blog address, so it's mine!  Technically, it is Salinger's but I'm adopting it!  Welcome.