The two things I’m most proud of from January are:
1. Finally, not having the expectation that everything in my life was going to be different just because it was a New Year, therefore I didn't have the guilt that usually abounds when I don't make it to the gym or I drink a diet coke, etc. Instead I looked at things like it's a process, and it's ongoing, it doesn't have a magic start date or end date... it is now, and now... and now. See how this goes?
2. I had a goal to go hiking 3 times in January, I didn't make this goal. But I did do one hike, and I'm proud of that. There were a few things that happened on this hike that I'm particularly proud of-- First, starting up the incline I started to get mad at myself that I'm that out of shape or that I could let myself get to this point. But then my friend, my teacher, who was with me said, "It's good to be aware." Thinking of that has been very good for me. Sometimes it's easier to keep taking the elevator because I don't have to focus on how out of breathe I'd be if I took the stairs. But awareness is always the first step to change, right? It's like obviously, I have some goals, I know I need to change, but until I can really feel it--- then it's ok. I can keep lying to myself or keep hiding the real raw broken down truth. Secondly on this hike we came across a patch of ice and somehow I made it out into the middle of this patch before I started sliding around. So there I was out in the middle and even though it was nothing but a few steps either way to get off of the center of the ice, I found myself sliding, catching my balance and I kept hearing my hiking partner say to me, "slowly, baby steps." And then she bravely reached out her hand, I say bravely because I totally could have taken her down with me. I felt like so many lessons were happening right in this little one minute of flailing around: 1) When you are flailing about trying so hard not to fall--- slow down. Breathe. Take baby steps. 2) When you are flailing about trying so hard not to fall--- reach for help. You don't have to flail about alone.
The two things I’m most grateful for from January are:
1. My new yoga mat.
2. Getting to see President Bill Clinton speak at a private event.
The lesson I learned and am carrying forward with me from January is:
You can talk the talk but to get where you wanna go you gotta walk the walk.
My intention for February is:
More focus. Instead of spreading myself all over looking for motivation I really just want to zone in on the 1-2 things that are really going to elevate me.
One thing I aim to do every day in February is:
Write.
Because I am brave, here are two new/scary things I will do in February:
1. Today I already faced one of my biggest fears that I didn't even see coming. The publishing company that is publishing my essay in a book, emailed me and asked me what publicity I would be willing to do. Things ranging from radio interviews, news interviews, and book signings at my local bookstores. This terrifies me. I am so afraid of public speaking. I want to be perfect before I have to stand in front of people (crazy, right)!?! I don't want to talk about my most emotional story out loud! Then why did I write it? And if I want to be a writer... these are things that I envision myself doing! But it was always... someday... in the far off future. Intangible. And now it's happening before I'm ready for it. But this is good practice. I signed up for all forms of publicity. I'm going all in. We'll see what happens.
2. I feel like #1 was a big one... so maybe I get a pass on doing another scary thing?! I've thought long and hard and I can't think of a second thing that would scare me that I would actually be willing to go through with.
The one book I definitely want to read in February is:
Emma by Jane Austen. A couple Valentine's Days ago I read that if you are single you should immerse yourself in Jane Austen to celebrate V-day instead of being that person that goes and sees a violent slasher film. Since I have always loved Valentine's Day this article didn't have to twist my arm! Hence was born my new ritual (until I run out of Jane Austen books to read anyways).
Just for fun, I will…
Make it a point to get up to Estes Park one weekend when the weather is nice.
As an act of intentional kindness, I will…
Try harder to be pleasant to everyone even on the days when I don't even feel like getting out of bed. :-)
Happy February Loves!
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