Let's Talk About Books Baby!

November

Books Bought:

Your Fathers, Where Are They? And the Prophets, Do They Live Forever? by Dave Eggers

Merry Christmas: and other Christmas Stories by Louisa May Alcott

Books Read:

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
Your Fathers, Where Are They? And the Prophets, Do They Live Forever? by Dave Eggers
 Merry Christmas: and other Christmas Stories by Louisa May Alcott
Night by Elie Wiesel
The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
The Horse and His Boy by CS Lewis

This was a most excellent month for reading!  Oh my goodness!  Let's just start at the top of books read and work down.

Freedom what a book!!!  I had heard that Jonathan Franzen would blow my mind, and boy did he!  First of all, this is absolutely without a doubt the book that I wanted to write in 2009.  This book combines all my favorite messed up things like: The Bush Administration and the War on Terror, Washington DC, an unhappy marriage, the realizations that nothing is how you thought it was going to be, the blissful youthful years, the boy you can't have, and how even though it is all painful it is all so achingly beautiful!  I love how you wonder the whole time why is the book called Freedom?  What is the author trying to say?  I will definitely be reading Franzen again, I've heard that The Corrections is a book I need to read, and I believe this so I will be doing this asap!

Now for my boy Eggers, I think it might be time for him to stop coming out with a book a year.  Don't get me wrong, I still liked this book and I still think he's extremely relevant but it's just starting to feel a bit forced.  This book was about a crazy guy kidnapping a bunch of people and asking them questions.  It's hinting at: how do we still go forward when there are so many road blocks to our dreams?  Is it ok for a bunch of police officers to shoot an unarmed teenager?  Do we blame the people from our past for how we've turned out?  It was very philosophical.  All dialogue.  A quick read.  

Louisa May!  Oh goodie!  Reading stories from this woman fills your heart up to the brim until it all runs over and you feel completely toasty, cozy and merry!  These stories remind you of the simple things in life and how delightfully wonderful they can be when we realize we've been taking them for granted.  It also just makes you want to throw open your heart to those less fortunate.  I devoured a story each night from this book for a week.  And everytime it felt like I was sitting by the coziest of fireplaces, by the prettiest of trees, in the cutest pj's possible.  But really it was nothing like that, it's just these stories give you such a warm feeling.  They are a bit elementary, but that's the beauty in them.

To balance out all the merriment I spent a night reading Night by Elie Wiesel.  I know, I know... I should have read this powerful memoir a million years ago.  I'm so very glad that I have now.  Nothing can be said here that hasn't already been said about the Holocaust, Night, or Elie Wiesel.  All I can say is: read it.  If you haven't read it yet, read it.  Here was one of my favorite quotes:

Next up was a book that I had heard about on NPR and that has been selected as the book of the month for this new online book club ran by my dear friend.  Let me just say, I felt like a complete fool, this book takes place in the Antebellum period which is what I spent most of my time studying in my Bachelor's degree in History.  I recognized that Denmark Vesey was a real person being drawn into this historical fiction, but it was only towards the last third of the book that I started thinking... were the Grimke sisters real people?  I googled them and sure enough, (here's where the fool part sets in), not only were they abolitionists but they were HUGE women's rights activists, notorious for their time and very influential on Lucretia Mott and Elizabeth Cady Stanton (who I remember from classes).  Goodness, I'm sure they must have went over this in the NPR story, but it must have been too long between the time I heard the story and the time that I actually read the book!  Either way, it was a treat to learn more about the sisters (even if their were fictitious elements).

And for my last pick for the month.... The Horse and His Boy.  Now apparently there are three ways in which to read The Chronicles of Narnia (in the order they were written, the order they were published, or the chronological order).  I've heard that my set goes in chronological order, but I am no expert, so I'm not going to confidently state that.  I do know that over a decade ago I read The Magician's Nephew and then The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe to my sister.  We had started The Horse and His Boy but we lost interest... so needless to say I haven't been eager to delve back in.  But in my attempt to move more legitimate authors up my "most read" list on goodreads I figured now was the time to dip my toes back in the water.  It was cute, I can see why kids could get swept up in these books.  I'm not exactly sure how this book parallels or draws from stories from the Bible (aren't all of these supposed to)?  But I'm definitely not an expert on the Bible.  All I can say is, maybe it won't be another decade  before I read Prince Caspian.

That's it for November!  What have you been reading?  What books are you giving as gifts this season?  What books are on your wish list?

 

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

October

Books Bought:

The Shining by Stephen King

Between Two Worlds: by Zainab Salbi

Freedom from Fear: by Aung San Suu Kyi

Songs of Blood and Sword: by Fatima Bhutto

A Kitchen in France: A Year of Cooking in my Farmhouse by Mimi Thorisson

Books Read:

Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory

Giving by Bill Clinton

The Shining by Stephen King

First off, let's just get The Shining out of the way since this is so far out of range from my usual taste.  Some friends came to town for a wedding in Estes Park, I kind of shuffled them around so they let me stay with them in the cabin they rented.  I had a lot of down time by myself so when I dropped them off at The Stanley Hotel for a rehearsal dinner I decided to walk around the property a bit since I've never done that before.  I found myself in the gift shop and so I thought, "why not?  It's October, it's chilly out, I'm in the mountains, and I may as well go back to the cabin and spook myself out!"  So, I cozied up on the sofa and got to reading, it wasn't really that scary, but just knowing it was going to get scary was what scared me the most!  When my phone buzzed I nearly had a heart attack!  It was my friends needing me to come back down the road and pick them up at The Stanley.  It was so scary outside, driving on the winding mountain roads, waiting for my heat to kick in and defrost the window from my breathing, not knowing the bends in the road and wondering what could be just around every corner.... so I pick them up, we headed back to the cabin and built a fire.  I realized I left my sleeping bag out in the car and when I went out to get it I stepped weirdly on a rock and I fell- twisting my ankle in the process!  Once I hobbled back inside and got an ice pack on my foot, the coziness just overflowed, I felt like I was in a cozy trance!  I felt so at peace.  I could just imagine a future of not having to take care of everything and myself all the time, a future in which you fall down but you have a person to sit by the fire with and who hoists your ankle up and makes sure you have fresh ice on it.  I want to pass the time with another quiet soul, someone who can stop and listen to the fire popping, and read a book.  Someone who can build a fire, and navigate snowy mountain roads.  Of course when I talk to my sister about these dreams, she just tells me I could learn how to build a fire myself.  She has a point.  But sometimes, just sometimes, I want to be taken care of; it would be nice to know that there is a man that cares when you fall.  Anyways... I digress, back to books.

Turns out that the suspicions I've always held turned out to be spot on... Stephen King, not for me!

I want to talk about Mimi Thorisson for a moment!  Her cookbook is insanely gorgeous!  Just like her instagram and blog!   Instagram had suggested I follow her, and I adore her account!  She has the best life, and I truly believe that one of my best dreams ever was inspired by her life.  Mimi lives in a tiny village in France and spends her days buying the freshest ingredients and making the most amazing meals to share with her family & friends!  Her life is amazing, her book is gorgeous!  This would be a fantastic holiday gift for any of your francophile or foodie friends!

To read more about Mimi, and experience the wonderfulness that is her blog, click here:  http://mimithorisson.com/ 

Now, as to the other three books that I bought this month I can tell you that they have a theme and are inspired by books I've read recently.  In Hillary Clinton's new book she talks extensively about Myanmar and Aung San Suu Kyi, which piqued my interest.  And, I'm currently reading Benazir Bhutto's book that came out right after her assassination which made me think that soon I would like to read one of her niece's writings.   And finally, this month I finished Giving by Bill Clinton and in it he mentions a women's organization called Women for Women International which I had heard about previously when Angelina Jolie's movie In the Land of Blood and Honey came out.  This organization is all about helping women in areas of conflict.  Sometimes I get this deep feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something political and geared towards the aid of women in humanitarian crises and this stuff always pulls me in.  For now, I would like to read more and then hopefully see where I feel comfortable volunteering or even just learn how I could volunteer. 

As for books read, I read my first book by Gillian Flynn (and no, it's not Gone Girl but I will hopefully be reading this one soon)!  It's not that I think she is extremely talented linguistically per se, but she is entertaining (somewhat in the nature or ballpark of a Dan Brown novel); it grips you right from the get go and you keep telling yourself, "just one more chapter"!  Plus, it was another good, "scary" read for October.

And, in an insane attempt to catch up with Philippa Gregory's Cousins' War series I've read my second book of hers this year.  I hope, fingers crossed, that I will be able to read the third before it's due back at the library.  I have come to terms with the fact that despite all my best efforts this woman will remain as my most read author, seeing as how she comes out with a book (or two) every year, and I always want to read them!  Take it away, Philippa, climb the ladder past authors who deserve a better spotlight!!  It's fine, you can be my number 1!  *sigh*

That just about sums up October, here's hoping that I can post about November in a timely manner!  

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

September

Books Bought:

The Children Act- Ian McEwan

Adultery- Paulo Coelho

Wild- Cheryl Strayed

Tiny Beautiful Things- Cheryl Strayed

Torch- Cheryl Strayed

Books Read:

Cutting for Stone- Abraham Verghese

Adultery- Paulo Coelho

The Secret History- Donna Tartt

The Children Act- Ian McEwan

The Lovers- Vendela Vida

Wow!  September was a crazy good month for books!  First let me tell you about the Cheryl Strayed event I went to in Fort Collins.  For those of you who haven't heard of Cheryl Strayed you're about to!  Her book Wild about her life saving trek down on the Pacific Crest Trail has been turned into a movie, starring Reese Witherspoon, in theaters this December!  It's debuted at Telluride and there has been a lot of buzz around Miss Witherspoon's performance!  I had previously read Wild and Cheryl's book of essays called Tiny Beautiful Things and I love them both!  They are the kinds of books that when you finish you know they were good but then you even grow to love them more as you realize that it's been months and you've read lots of books since them, yet, they are the ones you are still thinking of.  Anyways, both of those books I had checked out from the library but since I was going to this event, I bought them to get them signed.  

Highlights of her talk in Fort Collins:  Cheryl talked a lot about her mom (understandably so since Cheryl just had a birthday where she has now passed how old her mom was when she died, plus the movie is coming out and Cheryl's real daughter plays the younger Cheryl in the movie which brought up weird motherly feelings and realizations, and her mom is a driving force in how Cheryl got to where she is).  One thing that really resonated with me is that when her mom died, Cheryl got really destructive and was doing really bad things to her body and one day it's like it clicked that even though she was trying to show the world how sad she was without her mom, in a way, she realized she was dishonoring her mother's work by destroying herself.  I liked this because sometimes I feel I do things to myself (overeat) because I'm sad and because some really shitty things happened or I'm stuck in a rut, but I never think about how this must make my mom feel.  I'm sure this isn't what she wanted for me, and I know she loves me no matter what, but I just like the way this made me feel that I should honor my body because it is my mom's work of art.  Weird, I know.  Anyways...

I also really loved when she was in this outdoorsy store to get a shovel to dig her car out of the snow, she saw this book for the Pacific Crest Trail at the counter and she thought, "wow, that's really something, maybe, if I can just attach myself to something this magnificent then I might become magnificent too."  I liked this because this is how I feel about yoga... like yoga is this most beautiful practice and if I can just implement it in my life (be brave enough too) and then live it then I might be beautiful too.

I like how when Cheryl was on the trail she said she didn't do nearly the amount of thinking and analyzing that she thought she was going to do, it was more how can I walk this many miles with no water and no toenails to make it to shelter for the night?  It was about survival.  She said, "physical suffering, deprivation, was what I actually needed".  I think about this all the time (the irony, I know).  If I could just stop sitting around thinking and get up and move... just walk, just learn to love walking.  I feel like I've been on the emotional journey, I've done the spiritual thing, now I need to work it all out physically.   

Anyways, if you haven't read Wild or Tiny Beautiful Things I HIGHLY recommend both!  I also picked up her other book Torch that I've never read before so hopefully I will get around to that one soon!

The other two books that I bought this month, I ended up reading (go me!) so let's start with those:

Ian McEwan, how I love thee. McEwan's books are always so beautifully twisted.  This one is about a judge in the UK who has to deal with cases involving children.  She often gets stuck making a decision for what's in the children's best interest when their parents or guardians can't agree.  We see a few of her interesting cases, but we also get to see her marriage and how it is unraveling.  I just love the way McEwan writes, definitely one of the better books that I've read that was released in 2014.

Paulo Coelho.  I'm new to reading his books, I've only ever previously read The Alchemist which I loved, so I was expecting to feel the same about this book.  I know that this book was making a lot of statements about how we've all grown bored and complacent, and how we feel entitled to give into our every little whim or indulgence, how we can justify things in our heads or place blame on others.  Bottom line, the main character in this book is a repulsive woman, which makes it very hard to love this book.  I think most of us can probably recognize some of her gross behaviors in ourselves, but this woman was unbearable. 

Now onto some of the other books....

Cutting for Stone had been on my list for a very long time and I'm so glad I finally got around to reading it!  I have to admit it took me a while to get through it... the first 100 pages lagged for me, but I stuck with it because when a book has a heavy religious story line, mixed with culture & history I just KNOW it's going to be good.  It did not disappoint.  Once I finally got going with it, it was hard to put down.  I see why it was such a successful novel and I look forward to reading more from the author in the future.

After reading and loving The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, I knew that it wouldn't be long before I would get my hands on her first book that many call a cult classic: The Secret History.  This lady is legit.  Girl can write.  And she keeps you captured from the get go!  I loved this book and all of its' super twisted characters, I loved the setting, I loved the descriptions.  Sooooo good!  I'm scared to read the book that she wrote between The Secret History and The Goldfinch because apparently it wasn't well received when it came out.  But seeing as how she took about 11 years between the second and her last, I'm sure I'll have to read it just to tide me over until she someday (hopefully) releases a fourth book. 

And lastly... I've had The Lovers by Vendela Vida on my shelf for a couple of years now.  I've been hesitant to read it because I wasn't a big fan of another book of hers that I read, but I've wanted to read it because I really want to like her because she's married to my love Dave Eggers.  So, I'm not sure what made me grab for this one at this particular time, but when I opened it I realized it takes place in Turkey (which seems to have a gravitational pull on my attention lately), so I curled up in my chair and I started to read.  I loved it.  It doesn't end in a way that I thought it would and maybe that's part of why I liked it so much.  But it was just a simple story of grieving and coming to terms with life's little abuses.  I think when/if Vendela ever puts another book out, I will look forward to reading it and I don't think it will sit on my shelves for years. 

Which brings me to the question... why do I buy books only to let them sit there for so long unopened?  I'm not sure, I've done this for as long as I can remember.  But I know that there are times when a book calls to me in the store, but by the time I've finished whatever book I may have already been reading at that time, then I'm no longer in the mood for the new book I bought.  But sometimes, I end up reading them exactly when I need to, which makes it feel like it's all pre-destined.  Or maybe I'm just an addict.  My eyes are bigger than the speed in which they actually can read.  Who knows?  But it's kind of like when you buy an album and for whatever reason it just doesn't get a lot of play only to years later suddenly become your favorite album.  Timing.  They say it's everything.

What books have you ever bought and let sit on your shelf for way too long before getting around to cracking the spine?

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

August

Books Bought:

Books Read:

Food Rules: An Eater's Manual: by Michael Pollan

Persuasion: by Jane Austen

Hard Choices (audio): by Hillary Rodham Clinton

Orange is the New Black: by Piper Kerman

Goodness, I'm behind!  Well... August was a pretty balanced reading month I'd say: a book that's good for me, a classic, a current event/relevant nonfiction book, and an entertaining non-fiction book also with it's own claim to relevancy.

Let's just start at the top... Food Rules... this was a super quick read!  While it didn't have anything earth shattering in it, it was still one of my favorite health books I've ever read.  It just laid out the rules we should try to follow and really it's all very do-able.  I don't own this book, but I can't imagine it would cost much, might be something that I pick up later just to use as a reference or a refresher.  Seriously, you can read it within an hour and then feel a sense of rejuvenation and re-commitment to the betterment of yourself.

Miss Austen, oh Jane, how you slay us!  I seriously don't know how people can claim that they read all of Austen in middle school and loved her!  What?!?!  They must be far superior readers than I!  I'm not trying to boast, but I do consider myself a fairly intelligent reader and I try to imagine myself drinking up Austen at an early age of 12 and I just can't picture it!  Yes, Austen's themes are immature in nature, but with a more serious look her books are actually quite complex,  Yes, there are the grand romantic gestures... but there are heavy topics too, like missed opportunities, regret, and there are definitely glimpses of the ugliness in some people.  Of course it's all made to be quite charming through stories filled with fiddling, neighborly gossip, and love unrequited.  What can I say?  I may be late to the game, but I am a fan of Austen!

Future President Clinton (fingers crossed), as I mentioned in a previous post I bought this book for a book signing with the one and the only Hillary Clinton.  Since my copy is signed, I did buy and audio book too so that I could take a break from NPR and listen to the book on my drives to and from work.  It was delightful!  I love this book for many reasons:  one, it is obviously the lead in to her announcing her run for President; two, she talked at length about the country Burma/Myanmar and the leader  Aung San Suu Kyi (who I had been wanting to learn more about); and three, her chapter on Libya was flawless.  Why people insist on beating that sad event to death is beyond me!?  I also loved her opening (which was read by Hillary herself), it started with the Democratic primaries and a strong candidate from New York pitted against a strong candidate from Illinois (a la Seward-Lincoln); the comparison between Obama and Lincoln in their selection of a "Team of Rivals" has been thrown around so much but I hadn't even thought of the comparison between Lincoln & Seward and that of Obama & Clinton.  So great, the way she weaved history and her momentous decision to accept the position of Secretary of State offered to her by her then political foe.  God!  This is the stuff Washington is made of!  History, Politics, Power!  I love it!

So, I love the show Orange is the new Black so I was hesitant to read the book.  But the opportunity to try out a new book club arised with this book and so I figured what the heck, two seasons in I figured the show has to be taking some civil liberties with the story and so I didn't think the book would ruin my viewer watching pleasure so I delved in.  The book came highly recommended on the cover by NPR, and two authors that I love: Dave Eggers and Elizabeth Gilbert.  I have to say, I like real life Piper a lot more than the TV version.  Also, it is nice to see what her experience was really like and to see that she was a person that made mistakes and that she learned from them and acknowledged how her role affected the bigger picture in society.  I also like that she is actively trying to make people aware of how desperately we need a criminal/justice reform in this country.  It's not a topic that I'm passionate about and so I do feel like I learned a lot and it gave me lots to think about.  I'm not sure where I stand on every issue when it comes to these matters but at least I feel a little more informed that there is a broader conversation that needs to be had.

So, that's August... now that September is practically over... I'll be writing again in just a few days!
Toodles!

Namaste!

Wow!  What an amazing morning I just had!  I can't believe that when I got home at 12:30 last night I contemplated skipping this event!  I laid there in my bed and decided that I in fact wanted to set that alarm and I wanted to get up and be the kind of person I want to be.  When the alarm went off at 5am, I didn't even fear for a second that I would turn it off and roll back over and go back to sleep.  I felt like a little kid!  I was so excited to get up and get on the road.  I put on some baggy clothes that I wouldn't feel self conscious in, threw my hair up in a messy knot, grabbed my ticket... and almost forgot my yoga mat!  It was rolled up in a corner of my room and I literally had to dust cobwebs off of it!  Got my keys, and I was on the road!  I decided to take the back roads so that I could see the beautiful sunrise, I quickly realized even with waking up at 5 I wasn't going to make it to the rocks on time for when those first little rays of light peek over the horizon to wake Colorado up.  (My darling nephew always has the cutest greeting when he wakes us in the morning, he says, "Wake up, the sun's up!")

I decided to stop in Boulder and get a latte, I was greeting the morning after only 4 hours of sleep after all.  :-)  Even though I wasn't going too far, I'd forgotten how good it can feel to be on the road with nothing but your coffee, your mellow tunes, and the sunrise.

I arrived in Morrison at the beautiful Red Rocks Amphitheater with only about 20 minutes to spare! Luckily there was still enough room on the upper parking lot so I only had to climb a few sets of stairs! I quickly decided that I wanted to be in the very back row, and there was one spot left in it.  The people around me said good morning.  The sun was shining down below over Denver and everyone looked so relaxed waiting for the class to start.

Once the class started, I instantly had feelings that I might be in over my head.  My arms were shaking so hard in that first downward dog.  But I told myself that I was going to stick with it and do what I could do even if that meant improvising or focusing on my breathing or not holding the poses for as long as everyone else.  I also started regretting being in the back row as directly behind the rail there were a lot of onlookers, people hiking through, taking pictures, and giving their running commentaries. I heard two men talking about how they would gladly be sex slaves.  They got quite a few nasty glances from some yogis and eventually they moved on.  I told myself that the onlookers didn't matter, I was here to do my thing and if people wanted to post a picture of me in some embarrassing pose or whatever then that is there business and I would never know anyway.  Mostly I focused on how everyone around me was friendly and into their own practice and their own thoughts, and that gave me the encouragement to do the same.

I loved the way the teacher would say things like, "And if you couldn't do that pose a moment ago just the way you would like to, that's ok, let it go, be in this pose right now."  It was a good reminder to be present and not to get up into the, "I'm not good at this, I'll never be able to do this" type of mentality and get into the, "I'm here, I showed up, I'm doing this, I'm being kind to myself" mentality.  There was a moment a little over half way through the hour when we were all in upward facing dog where the teacher said, "Give gratitude to all those around you and to all those people and circumstances in your life that brought you to this moment right now".  I swear I could feel the gratitude just emanating off of everyone.  I sent gratitude to people I love who've never hurt me.  My mind just felt so peaceful and for the first time in a long time I sent gratitude and love to my dad, and to Dave (my ex-husband), and just the power of stretching into this pose and feeling how good it felt to send love to the people who I've let hurt me the most and who I carry the most baggage around was so overwhelming!  Tears instantly began swelling in my eyes, I realized the extreme hurt I carry around with me and I felt so much love for myself, and compassion, and forgiveness.   Luckily, everyone was so into their own thoughts and breaths and poses that no one noticed and I could just easily grab my little hand towel and wipe away my tears.   It just felt so good to let go!

When the class ended, I felt so peaceful.   I took my time driving home, I didn't feel any road rage, I opened the windows and felt the fresh morning August air!  I am so incredibly grateful for this experience and definitely want to work to learn how to cultivate these kind of feelings in my life daily!

Namaste my friends!

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

JULY

Books Bought:

Orange is the New Black: My year in a Women's Prison- by Piper Kerman

Books Read:

The Goldfinch- by Donna Tartt

Orphan Train- by Christina Baker Kline

The Lowland- by Jhumpa Lahiri

Add More Ing to Your Life: A Hip Guide to Happiness- by Gabrielle Bernstein

How We Are Hungry- by Dave Eggers

Rosie Dunne- by Cecelia Ahern

Wow!  What a month!  The combination of it being too hot to move and being extremely broke led to some pretty intense reading sessions!  I'm not going to lie, I read some of the best books I've read in a long time this past month!

As for the one book I bought, I've been hesitating to read this one because I like the show so much... but I've joined a few book clubs in Boulder and one of them is doing this one so I figured I'll give it a go next month (as in August).

Books read, I won't go into detail here about The Goldfinch since I already had a post about it, but I'll just re-iterate that it is reminiscent of Salinger and I freaking love it.

Orphan Train was a quick read and I was exposed to a part of our history that I've never been aware of, that being that with orphan children in the big eastern cities in the early 20th century, the government decided to put them all on trains and send them out west.  Some children found good homes, but many children were adopted so that they could be used for labour.  The story itself is fictional, and flipped flopped between an older story of one girl, and then a girl in the modern day who is an acquaintance of an older woman (who coincidentally is the girl from the older story).  The writing is pretty elementary so the reading is quick, and the story is gripping enough that this makes for a book that can be easily finished in one sitting.

Jhumpa Lahiri, I have long wanted to read.  Why I started with her most recent book?  After reading Donna Tartt's masterpiece, I was craving another Pulitzer Prize winner and this one was sitting on the "Lucky Day" cart at the library!  How could I resist?  It did not disappoint!  The story takes place in India and Rhode Island pre-dominantly.  It is the story of two brothers, one obsessed with Revolution and Rebellion, and the other who goes off to America and dedicates his life to learning and later to the care of those his brother leaves behind.  It is a beautiful book, and I have a strong desire to learn more about the history of India than I ever have before.  I will DEFINITELY be reading more books written by this enchanting author!

Gabby Bernstein, the meditation guru for a new generation.  I'm not sure completely that I'm drinking the Kool-aid yet.  The jury's still out on this one.  But I definitely will listen to some more podcasts and read a couple more of her books.  Even if I'm not completely sold, it doesn't hurt to be reminded to move more, to sit in silence with myself, to practice breathing, and to be more mindful with my thoughts and my intentions.

Eggers, my boyfriend, the love affair continues.  I had been told by another Eggers fan that this is a MUST read, and so I FINALLY took it off my shelf, dusted it off and gave it a go!  Of course, it did not disappoint!  How can one man be so brilliant?!?!  This book is a bunch of short stories, some of course were way better than others.  I love this man's scope.  I love how in one second I'm with a woman who is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro and letting go of some pretty heavy shit, and the next moment I'm in Nicaragua with a girl scheming to sleep with one of her oldest friends.  Some stories I could do without, but the ones that I love more than make up for the others that were not my favorites.

Cecilia Ahern, I'm not going to lie, I loved the movie P.S. I Love You, but I'm not sure that I love the author as much.  Maybe it was just this book.  It's my first I've read by her, and it was very teenager-ish.  I already have Emily Giffin and Candace Bushnell to fill this void in my life, not sure I'm looking to add another author to this list, not when there are so many brilliant books out there to read before I die.  The nice thing about books like this is they take a day and a half or less to get through, so they don't waste too much time.

I'll ask, as I always do, what have you read lately?  Anything that you loved?

Extremely Flawed Characters

I know... I know... I've hinted in my last book post that I bought The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, and I was perfectly fine with waiting until the end of the month to recap.... UNTIL... I went to the most amazing book club meetup tonight!

First, let me backup by saying that I had met with this group a year and a half to two years ago and kind of wrote it off as not being for me, plus I got super busy at work, and broke due to the holidays... blah blah blah.

Well, one of my oldest friends, Eden, asked me to join an online book club with her that was reading this book.  I happened to look at the Boulder meetup group and found they were also reading it, so I took it as a sign.

The online meeting group did not really get much of a discussion going outside of "I like this book", or "I didn't because the characters are shitty people".

I have to state that I personally, LOVE this book!  And after tonight's meeting I realized why!  I am completely head over heels in love with characters who have bad things happen to them and they spend their lifetime trying to get over it, they make mistakes, they make their situations worse by the choices they make, and in the end they've finally come to terms and they've accepted their lot in life and then the story just ends.  No pretty bow.  No riding off into the sunset.  It's realistic and it's raw and I LOVE IT!

I also, have to say there were two pretty amazing realizations I had at this meeting.  Someone asked, "What did you guys think of the mother in the book?"  Of course, everyone loves this character, if you read it you know what I'm talking about.  How could you not?  She is the main character's world and since it's written from his perspective, of course you too, will love his mom!  Then someone asks, "What do you think about his dad?"  I was one of the most firm responders, "I hated him, there's no excuse to be that kind of person, ugh!"  And some people were trying to show sympathy, be empathetic!  What?!?!?!?  The man is a raging alcoholic, his kid goes through his life walking on pins and needles never knowing what's going to set his dad off next, what kind of mood is he coming home in?  Even the reader feels this anxiety.  Or is that just me and my own daddy issues?!?  Someone even stated how they thought it was unrealistic that this woman would stay with this man.  Hello!  You must have never been the receiver of an alcoholic's apologies and how they guilt you in to loving them more, or giving them one more chance, or how they sway you to believe they want to change.  I thought the author handled this relationship between an alcoholic parent and a child flawlessly... so good!  All the emotions that come with a relationship like that, goodness.

Some of these people in this book club just could not get over why Theo (the kid, the main character) has such a hard time being a good person, getting his act together, making the right choices.  It's called ADVERSITY!!!!  And I don't expect people who have had smooth sailing lives to get it.

I mean, I get that we all have "stuff", we all have "baggage" or "ghosts in our closets", but let's be real... some people get dealt a way shittier hand in life... and it's frigging hard to surmount.  It's hard to grapple with.  And sometimes the best a person can come up with is just accepting all the bullshit for what it is.  And sometimes that is the happy ending.  The moment when the character is doing the best they can, while keeping every finger and toe crossed that some other huge event isn't just waiting around the corner to knock them on their ass again.

*I know this post probably doesn't make much sense... but in a world where we are sold happiness in every way possible, in a world where we are constantly told "to fake it till we make it" or that "God never gives us more than we can handle" or that "Your life will change, when you change the way you tell your story to yourself, stop playing the victim"... If you just meditate more, work out more, keep pushing... it will all get better.  It's exhausting.  And I love those characters that force the beautiful, positive people of the world to be uncomfortable.  The character that looks you straight in the eye, and the sheer amount of wounds and brokenness makes most want to look away.  I relish those empty, dark, sad parts of people.  That is where the meat is.  Most people are afraid to go there.

I love these people (even the fictional ones).  The broken and downtrodden.  I get them.  I celebrate them.

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

June

Books Bought:

Hard Choices- Hillary Rodham Clinton

The Goldfinch- Donna Tartt

Books Read:

Suite Francaise- Irene Nemirovsky

A Clash of Kings (A Song of Fire and Ice #2) (audiobook)- George R.R. Martin

Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life- Thich Nhat Hahn

Greenwich Village Stories: A Collection of Memories- various contributors

Ok... let's start with the amazing fact that I bought and got my copy signed by the one and only SECRETARY HILLARY CLINTON!  Wow!  Some of you may know that I just adore meeting powerful political people at book signings (in the past I've met President Clinton, Vice President Gore, and Secretary Albright), I am now seeing Hillary as the link that will lead me from the Clinton Administration into the Obama era of book signings!  Plus, I can say that I met the future first woman President (hopefully)!

As for The Goldfinch, I finished that one in July so stay tuned!

Suite Francaise actually took me awhile to finish reading (actually June may as well be called "loose ends" month... I was tying up a few books that I couldn't wait to be done with).  Nemirovsky's book is amazing!  The first few pages I found myself thinking I was in for a masterpiece of a treat.  But the book did start to lag for me in places.  First, one cannot discuss this book without touching on the history behind it.  Nemirovsky was from the Ukraine, and was a Jew.  Nemirovsky's family fled during the Russian Revolution and ultimately settled in France where she converted to Roman Catholicism.  As the Nazi occupation of France was happening, Nemirovsky began what was ultimately going to be a sweeping novel about the very history that the citizens of France were living through.  However, her Jewish roots caught up with her and Nemirovsky was taken into custody only to die a brief time later in Auschwitz.  Knowing the author's own story which is placed out in the appendices of the book is what makes Suite Francaisse that much richer.  The story (at least the part that was told and later preserved by her daughters) has only two sections (though many more were outlined).  The first is a hodge podge of many Parisians who have fled to the countryside, they encounter bombings, and shortage of food, gasoline, and places to sleep.  Some of the characters are likable but most I found to be either not that interesting or kind of disdainful.  However in this section, it was the descriptions that kept me hooked.  The second section depicts a town where the Germans are staying in the homes of the local people.  This story I liked much more, you got to really know the people more.  Ultimately, it would have been interesting to see how the various sections were all going to tie together, but due to the author's sad ending we will never know... and even THAT leaves what we do have of the book with a much deeper meaning.

A Clash of Kings- Oy!  I have never been so happy for a book to come to an end.  I think I'm going to leave it to the TV show from here on out.  Enough said.

Savor was a nice book with a few little gems that I highlighted (gasp- yes, the only books I highlight are diet books!)  And just like all the other books, most of the information I already know, which leads me to think I'm going to these books for motivation or inspiration... but I'm beginning to learn that I'm not going to get what I need from a diet book.

Greenwich Village Stories- Loved this!  It featured many contributors, all residents of the village at one time or another and it really painted a picture of what the village means.  It's probably one of the most culturally significant neighborhoods in our nation's history.  The people that have flocked to it are always looking for something more, and they always find it... there!  

All in all, June was good, I got to put some books to bed and do a little more research.  July is shaping up to be most excellent... so tune back in then! Toodles!

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

May

Books Bought:

The One & Only- by Emily Giffin

Allegiant (ebook)- by Veronica Roth

Books Read:

Insurgent (ebook)- by Veronica Roth

A Game of Thrones (audiobook)- by George R.R. Martin

The One & Only- by Emily Giffin

Ok... So let's just be real and call a spade a spade... This month was pop culture on steroids as far as the book choices I made! I feel like I need to get into something more substantial and meatier for the next few months to make up for this pop binge!

 

So I pressed on with the Divergent series and book 2 still had my interest piqued. I like the main characters and am weary to press on because friends that I know who have read the whole series say that the third book ruins it... I may have to take a while before I get around to the third one, however it is downloaded and waiting on my nook!

Onto Game of Thrones... Last summer I watched the first season with my sister after she had listened to the first book. I was hooked on the show instantly! I wanted to watch the second season but my sister said we had to wait until she listens to the second book which she let me know she wouldn't get around to for awhile what with working full time and being in the final year of her bachelor's degree. So throughout the past year... I've debated... Do I hurry and read the books too? Do I just press on with the show without her? Friends lent me the first book and it sat on my shelf for months before I returned it to them chalking it up to the fact that I just might not want to read them. Then the new season premiered on tv and social media was all a flutter with excitement... So I checked out the audiobook from the library and listened to it everyday. I'm just going to say I like the show WAY more. I don't know if it's because I've never been an audio book type of girl or if it's because I saw the show first or what? We'll see, stay tuned. 

Now for Miss Giffin's new one! Let me just say Lauren Conrad and Candace Bushnell aside, Emily Giffin is my most chick-lit-y author I read and so obviously feelings of it being a guilty pleasure book accompany my excitement and giddy-ness!  This one was all about a girl working at a University and she is obsessed with football! Needless to say, I breezed through this one and 💜'd it! 

What about you? Are you reading anything good? Have any guilty pleasure reads? What do you think of the show vs  books in regards to Game of Thrones?

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

April

Books Bought

No Matter the Wreckage by Sarah Kay

The Other Story by Tatiana De Rosnay

Portraits and Observations by Truman Capote

Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Greenwich Village Stories Published by Greenwich Village Society for Historical Preservation

Add more 'ing to your life by Gabrielle Bernstein

Insurgent (ebook) by Veronica Roth

Books Read

NW by Zadie Smith

No Matter the Wreckage by Sarah Kay

The Other Story by Tatiana De Rosnay


As the weather gets warmer like all the flowers that are blooming I seem to be coming out of my winter hibernation... that means... less reading.  However, based on my books bought list I seem to have not lost my gusto for throwing down some dollars for the love of literature!

Onto books read...

In true 2014 form, I read another book by the incomparable Zadie Smith.  While this one still does not top On Beauty, (will anything ever?) I still can see the greatness in this book.  A friend of mine phrased it perfectly when he said that she writes books that are syllabus ready.  They are books for the now, books full of heavy topics... where we stand socially, politically, racially, financially and how our place in the world affects our humanity.  Gotta love a conscientious writer!

April being poetry month I figured I'd delve into a poet that is new to me but is a sensation on youtube with her spoken word performances, and a true all star at TED talks.  I first heard of Sarah Kay when a favorite singer of mine instagram'd a picture of herself with the poet and my favorite author Liz Gilbert. I thought... "shoot if my favorite singer and author are hanging with this poet she must be somebody worth looking into".  Of course I watched her TED talks and then without any hesitation I ordered her book that was due to come out the following week.  I devoured this poetry book.  Who knew that poetry could be so hip?  It spoke to me, and yes, I've had modern poets speak to me before, none more so than Rebecca Lindenberg; but now I have another one to add to my list.  I look forward to more collections of poetry from this amazing poet!

And lastly, the newly published in America, The Other Story.  Ever since Sarah's Key, I wait for the next translated book of Tatiana De Rosnay's.  They are always entertaining.  While this main character was something of an arse, I still liked this story and wanted to see the way things would play out.  The book was interesting in the fact that social media and our ego-centric lives was a main theme and in a sense this story holds a mirror up to our (society's) behaviour and shows us how truly ugly it can be when we become obsessed with our phones in our palms more than the we care for the actual people in our lives.  Yet here I am blogging about it.  Will we ever learn?

Well I don't know how many or what books the month of May will bring, but I do know I'm looking forward to my little sister's college graduation, helping my parents with their yard, and welcoming family visitors from out of state!  What about you?  What is May bringing you?  What have your read lately?

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

(I know, my picture is lame this month... I blame it on the fact that I had a library book that I had to turn in mid-March).

Books Bought

The Haunted Life and other writings- Jack Kerouac

A Freewheelin' Time: A Memoir of Greenwich Village in the Sixties- Suze Rotolo

Just Kids- Patti Smith

The Village: A History of Greenwich Village- John Strausbaugh

In Secret- Emile Zola

The Paradise- Emile Zola

Books Read

Divergent- Veronica Roth

Fools' Gold (Order of Darkness, #3)- Philippa Gregory

You'll be Okay: My Life with Jack Kerouac- Edie Kerouac Parker

Hey Folly- Mary Margaret Alvarado

A Freewheelin' Time: A Memoir of Greenwich Village in the Sixties- Suze Rotolo

Ahh... the month of March and the joy of a bountiful tax return!  To Barnes & Noble I go!  As you can tell, I bought some books this month! That's right!  I do it in the name of fruitfulness and research!

Not much to say about my purchases because as of yet, I haven't read the majority of them, so let's discuss them in the future shall we?

On to books read:

Divergent- What can I say?  Entertaining, but definitely not literature.  I got sucked in to the idea of reading this book when I saw the trailer for the movie at the premiere of Catching Fire.  Of course there are the rabid fans out there who can claim that they read the series long before you could walk into the bookstore without bumping into a pile of these books on every table and shelf.  Of course I can claim that I worked at the bookstore before all the movie-goer crowd caught on, back when I was only selling this book to the rabid fan.  Turns out America's love of the teen series continues, when will we learn that nothing, and I mean NOTHING will ever be Harry Potter?

Fools' Gold- Alas, another teen series.  Difference is... I seem to be the ONLY person on the planet reading this one.  Which begs the question... how has it made it to three books released with a fourth already announced? Got me!  It's a quick read, entertaining, different than the other mainstream stuff that has been coming out in the past decade that's for sure.  But what else would one expect from Philippa Gregory?  (Still holding tight to my #1 most read author on goodreads- oh the shame!)

You'll be Okay- Loved this one! Learned a lot about my dear Kerouac, and I don't want to jinx anything but has given me my first non-autobiographical idea for a book project!!! Love, love, love!

Hey Folly- Saw this poet perform in Boulder a couple of months ago, finally read the book!  Love it!  Is it just me or is poetry becoming super cool again? Or has it always been and I just fell off the wagon for awhile?

Freewheelin' Time- The first book officially read in the name of research for said project that I don't want to jinx!  Loved it, it's delicious!  Not so much about Bob Dylan but definitely about the woman that was his muse and the inspiration for one of the most beloved album covers of all time.  

What about you? Read anything good lately?

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

 

Alas, February... I'm a little behind!

Books Bought

Changing My Mind- Occasional Essays by Zadie Smith

 Freedom by Jonathan Franzen

Books Read

 Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

White Teeth by Zadie Smith

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on love and life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

Ok... months like this one happen in my life more than I'd like to admit: months where I buy books and then I don't immediately read them.  Sometimes a girl just feels like going to the bookstore and buying something, even though there are plenty of purchases at home that still need to be read. What can I say? I'm working on it!

This month I am proud to say that one year after starting it I finally finished the beast that is Team of Rivals, and yes, even though it took me so long and it was a book I would set down and not come back to for months... it is still awesome!  As a person who is spent many hours academically and recreationally studying Lincoln and the Civil War, I have to say the ending of this book made me think about things I'd never thought before.  I'm not giving anything away (at least I hope) by saying that upon Lincoln's assassination (gasp), I'd never thought about how his cabinet members must have felt.  Can you imagine?  Here in your younger days you were a political rival to this man, only for him to pick you to be a part of one of the most historically important cabinets in our history, to then fight for this nation to stay together and free a whole race of people only for him to end up shot and dead!!!! WTF?!?!?!?   Some of these men I truly believe had a better relationship with Lincoln than his crazy wife did (not in any other way than friendly working professionals... all you conspiracy theorists!) I just think how tragic it all is.  One of the cabinet members who went on to serve many Presidents wrote how late in life he had a dream he was delivering an important message to the White House and when he opened the doors it was Lincoln sitting behind the desk.  He said he woke up weeping.  Chills.  This book only re-affirms what I've known since I was in 2nd grade, Lincoln is my favorite.

February brings Valentine's Day and this year one of my new favorite magazines (Darling magazine) suggested on a facebook post that this Valentine's I should discover a romantic classic.  Not a bad idea, hence, Northanger Abbey.  When I lived in England, Bath was one of my favorite places so needless to say I've visited the ol' Jane Austen museum and own a beautiful set of all of her books.  Shamefully, I've only ever read Pride and Prejudice.  I know that Austen is intended for younger girls but when I had read her the first time around (about 9th grade) I felt really overwhelmed with the flowery language.  It has always put me off reading her again.  Needless to say, I am a lot older now and more versed in older and fancier English then I was back then.  This book definitely felt like a book for young girls.  It was cute though and a quick read.

Zadie, oh Zadie how you slay me!  So... my second Zadie Smith book in two months.  Maybe this will be a trend this year... But, while White Teeth is highly praised, I think it may have been all that before there was On Beauty, this book just simply pales in comparison to her later work.  Both are notable and as my work colleague and fellow Zadie Smith enthusiast says, "Seems like they are made for literary discussion", I just can't help thinking that if you start out with the best, it will be tainted.  My suggestion: work up to On Beauty.  You almost need to, because over a month later that book is still haunting me with it's rich meaning and it's dark, beautifully broken characters.

Dear Sugar, where to begin? Could your words be anymore beautiful?  Could your advice be any more profound?  It's amazing how you took the worst things life threw at you and sculpted it into compassion, acceptance, and stories that will give even the most broken of us hope.  LOVE THIS BOOK. 

Happy Readings Everyone!  

*Suggestions welcome!

Let's Talk About Books Baby!

So, there is a man named Nick Hornby who came out with a book over the holidays entitled, Ten Years in the Tub, I came across it at Barnes & Noble after seeing it on the McSweeney's website.  I love the idea of this book, this man has been writing a column for Believer magazine for 10 years in which he talks about two things every month: books bought and books read.  Love it!  So, it's the end of the first month of a new year and I can think of no better time to implement this into my blogging routine than now.  I know there is technically still one more day left of January, but I think I can safely say that between now and the end of tomorrow I will neither buy another book nor finish one.  (Although, I prematurely named my favorite albums of 2013 before the end of the year and wouldn't you know it... Beyonce went and dropped her surprise album which has quickly become one of my favorite, if not the best album released last year.  So we can be wrong and we can be surprised.)  But I'll take my chances.  Here we go...

Books Bought

On Beauty by Zadie Smith

NW by Zadie Smith

The End of Love by Marcos Giralt Torrente

Hey Folly by Mary Margaret Alvarado

The Wrong Side of Paris by Honore de Balzac

*Find it in Everything by Drew Barrymore

Books Read

The White Queen by Philippa Gregory

Tout Sweet: Hanging up my high heels for a new life in France by Karen Wheeler

My Invented Country by Isabel Allende

On Beauty by Zadie Smith

The End of Love by Marcos Giralt Torrente

The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera

*Find it in Everything by Drew Barrymore

Ok... first let me explain something, I am known for buying books and then not reading them for years, so it is a miracle that I've read 3/6 books I bought within the month that I bought them (although Miss Barrymore's is a photography book so it doesn't "really"count).  Let me also say that I don't usually read 6 books in one month, but I had made this goal at the beginning of the year to watch way less television, and so there you have it.

A few things I want to note about the books that I read this month... According to goodreads Philippa Gregory is the author I have read the most of.  I don't know how I feel about that other than to acknowledge that I am addicted to Tudor/War of the Roses historical fiction, so there you have it.

I adored Tout Sweet and already wrote a blog post about that, if you missed it, here it is.

I chose to read the Allende memoir because she is coming to visit Denver and I've been trying to decide if I should go hear her speak (it is not free) but I have never actually read one of her books.  *gasp* And now I have.  I also learned loads about Chilean culture/history, so I feel like a better person for reading this book.

I'm going to come back to Zadie Smith in a moment.  But let's talk about The End of Love for a moment.  This is Torrente's first book to appear in English, and I am waiting with bated breath for more!  This was a book about love and the ways in which it disappoints us or haunts us.  It was 4 short, beautifully written stories.  It reminds me of the movie Babel, here are these glimpses of characters that you can feel extremely connected to without even knowing their names but simply by observing them and relating to the plight of the human condition.  Beautiful.

Now with Kundera, I have had The Unbearable Lightness of Being on my shelf since I lived in England, I know this because I remember the moment I first heard of this book.  I was on a train ride to London and a girl and boy sat across the aisle from me.  She was reading this book, and he asked her how it was.  They began discussing it and as she did she kept flashing the cover back and forth.  I read the title and I couldn't believe that the title of a book could be so awesome.  I wanted to know what it was about, so the next time that I took a drive up to Milton Keynes for coffee and some book browsing, I purchased that book.  And there it sat on all of my many different shelves in the many places that I have lived since that year.  I don't know why I suddenly had the mad desire to read it right this moment (probably because I saw the list of my most read authors on goodreads and thought, "how embarrassing" haha).  I learned a lot about the Czech Republic and the Soviet occupation in this book.  The first half of the book is immaculately written, dang near flawless... loads of sex and infidelity.  I'll admit I got a bit lost on the second half, but not enough to realize why this is heralded in book circles as a relevant contemporary classic.

Now... for On Beauty, I devoured this book over a weekend.  It was a book that you just want to live in.  I remember when I finished I went to Chipotle to grab some dinner and as I was walking out, still deep in my own thoughts reflecting about this awesome book I just read, and it all clicked!  I needed to hurry and get back to my car, because I kid you not... tears were welling in my eyes.  I know why she called it On Beauty and the more I thought about the characters and the content... I was just extremely moved.  Definitely one of my favorite books ever... which means it's going to be really hard to read her other books because I'm scared they will never be as good as my first one that I read by her.  Yet, I love this author and her style so much that I know inevitably I'm going to read everything she's ever written.

As for the two books that I bought that I haven't read... well, I leant NW to a fellow reader who worships at the alter of Zadie Smith, and as for Hey Folly I picked it up last weekend at the author's poetry reading so I'm looking forward to delving in more closely.  

What are some of you reading?  Any suggestions for February?

When I listen to Wednesdays...

When I listen to the song "Rock Steady" off the Rock Steady album by No Doubt, I always think of my sister Ashley.  In the years before I became a "grown up" and moved all over the place, Ash and I developed this weird bond where we'd have these little sleepovers in her room every night; we'd scratch each other's backs and time the length of scratching based on the episodes of The Golden Girls which we would watch on Nick at Nite (don't ask me what a then 12 year old girl found hilarious about The Golden Girls, but Ash sure did love that show).

So... back to the song.  No Doubt's Rock Steady album came out December 2001.  At that point I think I'd been a fan of them since I was 12 years old, so needless to say even though the album was being named a sell out album, and critics were claiming that the infamous Gwen Stefani had lost her edge and was now pop, I was ecstatic nonetheless!  To this day, it still is probably my favorite album of theirs.  Anyway I remember the cold December night that I stopped at Best Buy to make my purchase, if I remember correctly I also bought Nirvana's Unplugged album and the Smashing Pumpkins Greatest Hits (what can I say... I was late to that party)!  Anyway, I remember starting the car and fighting with that dang No Doubt cd.  You guys remember that plastic wrap and sticker that came on cd's, right?  At last I managed to free the cd from the case and put it in the dash!  I practically didn't listen to anything else for a year!

I had lost my job that November, but hey this was before America waged war on Iraq and the economy tanked, and I guess since I lived at home... splurging on three albums did not seem like it would make a huge dent in my finances.  But the point of me telling you that I was "unemployed"-- while still being a student mind you, is just to tell you that I was home more than usual.  I remember seeing almost every episode of TRL over that winter break and of course driving around places and dancing in my room and whatnot.  Whenever I hear this song I remember all that, but mostly I remember singing with Ash, "Our love is so rock steady."  And while I know that this isn't some big sister anthem, I always think to myself that's exactly what my relationship with Ash is... it's rock steady.  Any ups or downs that I've had in my life that little girl has been by my side, she's my steady rock.

When I listen to Wednesdays... (a day late)

When I listen to Joe Purdy, I can have a whole myriad of feelings, luckily in my shuffle I got "Come Back Down Joe" off the Only Four Seasons album (Joe also has the same song on the Sessions From Motor Ave album), I like the latter version on Only Four Seasons much more.  This song reminds me of the West End of London, neighborhoods like Covent Garden & Leicester Square.  There's really no particular reason that this song stirs up those feelings.  Maybe it's because I discovered Joe when I lived in England and this song just reminds me of the kind of song that some wayfaring vagabond would be playing on the corner of one of those neighborhoods as tourists move about them, throwing coins in the troubadour's guitar case, making their purchases at the outdoor markets, and deciding what pub or cafe they are going to grab lunch at.

While in the past some Joe Purdy songs were the soundtrack to my ambien filled nights, the songs that I assigned to my most bittersweet memories, for some reason this song never felt that way.  This song reminds me of the me I was discovering in '06-'07, the me that was inherently different than who I should have been being married to Dave.  The me who was discovering she loved Europe just as much as she loved her own country, the me who on some level knew that Dave and I weren't meant for each other, (but the me who was too afraid to let go of him for letting go of him would mean letting go of those places).  This song is beautiful books, latte art, cobblestoned streets, and independence.

I don't know why, but that's just what I feel when I listen to this song.

I've been lucky enough to see this artist 3 times, he's just amazing.

When I listen to Wednesdays...

When I listen to "Relator" by Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson I am back in 2009, first let me say this... I have liked Pete Yorn since his first album, Musicforthemorningafter and as for Scarlett Johansson I know, I know... people hate her or love her... I definitely fall in to the latter category, I tend to love almost all her movies and then when she became Woody Allen's muse, forget about it... I was hooked.  Now can she sing?  I'm sure the music technicians worked their charm, but this album, particularly the song, "Relator" brought me out of darkness.  

2008 was hands down the worst year of my life, and it was such a doozy that I don't think (knock on wood) that God would ever hand me one that would top that, they say he only gives us what we can handle, and that one pretty much pushed me to the brink, so I think I'm good for the rest of my life.  Well, needless to say my 2008 was filled to the brim with music that could make the most cheeriest of souls want to drown themselves.  Granted, I still adore many of those songs and the little singer-songwriters that penned them and performed them in tiny locations all over Denver & Boulder for me.  

That said, when you have a year like that, full of sadness and despair, and then a song comes along that makes you want to dance... it feels like a little drop of sunshine, like the clouds are parting and for the rest of your life you can't help but remember that a song made you feel that you might get through this after all.  For all of 2 minutes and 34 seconds, you could pick up on a beat and you could bob your head and tap your foot to it and then before you know it you were dancing and you weren't being suffocated with memories and the feeling of loss that threatened to smother you, you didn't have to remember to gasp for air.

I adore this album, it is said that Pete wanted to make an album that channeled something similar to Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot... Very 60's.  It's meant to be like a couple singing together about the up's and down's of their relationship.  

Anyway, I tend to be the only person I know that gives Scarlett a chance, I think all my sisters hated my little happy ditty.  But I'm telling you if they did another duet album, I'd buy it again.  If you take a listen let me know what you think (The video is pretty awesome too).   

The House That Built Me

Almost a year ago my Grandma finally passed away.  I say finally because the moment that my grandpa died a few years before her she started wishing that she would just die.  Don't get me wrong she still loved us and loved when we would call or visit but inevitably she would cry and she would talk about him.

Tonight, I can't stop thinking about them.  And by them I mean my grandparents and all of us that are here because of them... all the cousins and their kids, and our parents.  I found myself wondering what was the latest status of our grandparents house, last I'd heard my Aunt was still dealing with repairs in preparation to sell.  So I text her to hear the latest.  In one of those freakishly odd moments that life hands us, she text back and said that they just signed the papers yesterday and that the new family is moving in this weekend.  She said it's a young couple and they have two boys, just like my grandpa and grandma did when they bought the house all those years ago.

If you know me, you know I'm sentimental.  Losing that house, feels like I'm losing the place where I could go to still feel them.  I'm not really big on grave sites.  Since I can't go there anymore, I just want to share what it feels like as I'm sure many of you can relate to a place that feels like home.

My whole life whether I was a little girl in my dad's backseat or whether I was that lost girl in my 20's I can remember pulling up in the driveway and the back door opening and my Grandma standing there with a smile.  Grandma might have been harsh on our parents at times but to us she was the breakfast maker, the back scratcher, and the picture taker.  Me, my brother, and my cousins spent so much time there.  We'd go to the bowling alley with them when they were on a league, we had many bbq's in their little backyard on that wooden table with benches, we climbed onto the cement wall and climbed trees, shot hoops, and played bar (it's not as white trash as it sounds, our grandparents had a bar in the family room in the basement and we would put on MTV and perform songs while my brother was the bartender who served us up drinks--- coca cola and sprite mostly--- in between our dance performances), ok maybe it wasn't the best game for kids, but we thought we were cool.

(Cousin Melanie, Me, Cousin Jamie, and my Brother Travis on the wall)

If Grandma was the caretaker, Grandpa was the troublemaker... He'd play ghost at the bottom of the long stairs and scare us so we'd go running and screaming; and while Grandma would cook breakfast he would give us girls a twirl all around the kitchen.  

(Grandpa dancing with me, I love that the look on my face is pure joy and laughter... that's how I always felt with them.)

In my early 20's I stayed with them for awhile, maybe a month or so.  I remember my Grandma telling me I had a gypsy soul and that I was restless, and Grandpa said that I just needed the church in my life (which was funny because he never went that I knew of).  I was troubled in my early 20's, and when I think back on that time the song "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert always comes to mind.  I love when she sings, "I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing, out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself".  I was there for sanctuary.  Sanctuary from my dad, from my disappointments in where life was taking me, from myself and the choices I had made.  It was just like a country song, I was back there trying to remember who I was and where I come from.  It's scary to think that I don't have that place anymore.

(Me sitting on Grandpa's lap back in the 80's, he sat in that same spot the last time I would ever see him.)

I can still remember the exact place I was when I got the phone call from my dad that Grandpa had Leukemia, and I can still remember the exact thing I was doing and where I was the moment I got a phone call from my dad that Grandpa had passed away.  He died peacefully in his sleep, thanks to hospice, and the constant care of my Grandma and my dad, my aunt, and my uncle.  My brother and I instantly hopped on a plane and were there, gathered around the bed with all the rest of the family to say a family prayer before they came and took his body away.  I remember watching the men of my family carry him out of the house, my brother gently holding our grandfather's head in his hands.  How crazy that the little boy that used to sleep with Grandpa, that used to be his little shadow on the golf course, was now a grown man holding this old man's head in his hands.  

I remember sitting at my grandparents breakfast table sharing what I knew would be my last meal ever with him, I remember the way he told me to love again, to not close off my heart to it.  I remember the way he said with the most loving of concerns that he wanted me to lose some weight so I wouldn't get sick and could live a fuller life.  After the dishes were done and we embraced for the last time, both of us shedding tears, and Grandma taking pictures all the while; I got in my car and drove away... I lost it. I promised I would find myself again, I promised I would eat better and take care of myself, I promised I would make him proud of me.  It wasn't until his memorial service when a friend of his came up to me and said, "Karstee, out on the golf course your Grandpa used to tell us stories of all the places you've been and the things you've seen, he sure was proud of you!"  He was already proud of me, he just didn't want me to give up on myself.  It breaks my heart to admit that I still haven't followed through on the promises I made that day.  

(Grandma and me, just a couple of days or so after losing Grandpa.)

The last time I got to see my Grandma, it was weird.  She was a single lady occupying a house full of memories and I'm sure for her it felt haunted.  She had changed, she slept in longer, stayed up later, drank wine, and ate poorly, and by poorly I mean she didn't seem to have an appetite.  I could tell I was her granddaughter because when I'm depressed I have all the same traits except for I have an insatiable appetite.  We watched each other's favorite movies, ordered pizza, and drank wine, and shared feelings.    When I left that weekend to come back to Colorado I felt like I'd gotten a glimpse of a woman, not just my Grandma--- a real woman with fears of inadequacy and a longing and sadness that she just couldn't conquer.  My Grandma would later take a fall in that house that would send her to the hospital where after surgery she would leave this world.  

And their house sat there empty of people--- waiting for belongings to be divvy'd up, memories to be scattered, pipes repaired; and now finally that home is ready for another family to begin what will hopefully be generations of happiness and solidarity.